Life Is A Vapor: How To Slow Down Time

My friend posted about her daughter’s fifth birthday the other day and wrote this in her facebook status: “Time is a vapor, friends. Enjoy it. It's flying by”. As I read her words, I listened to my almost three year old son chattering away with his big sister in full sentences and thought about how often these days he says, “I do myself, mommy!”


Then, I saw my just-turned-four-years-old-going-on-fourteen daughter dancing through the living room singing to the beat of her own drum. She is learning to write her ABC’s, knows how to pick out the perfect outfit for the day, and surprises me with how well she can carry on a conversation with me or my husband.


And wasn’t it just yesterday that I first held them in my arms?  


To read the rest of this post, check out my guest post at The I Like Book blog. 

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Also, stay tuned tomorrow for an exciting Shutterfly review and giveaway.  You're going to LOVE this one!


 

The "Un" Birth Plan

 Photo via Instagram

As the arrival of our littlest peanut looms closer and closer, I've found myself flooded with memories of the births of our first born and second born.  It's so easy for me to start thinking and simmering and stewing over the what ifs, because I know how quickly my expectations can be crushed. 

My husband and I have talked long and often about setting realistic expectations and preparing for the "what ifs" as much as possible while still trusting in God's perfect and sovereign plan for this little one. 

During my first pregnancy, I dreamed of having an all natural birth experience with minimal hospital interventions.  I imagined my daughter's birth being a beautiful and surreal experience.  I expected to labor on my own at home as long as possible before finally making our way to the hospital (which is, conveniently, only a few blocks away from our home).

Then, I would use breathing techniques and try various laboring positions to work through the contractions with the help of my husband and mom until it was time to start pushing.  I knew first babies often took longer, but I had no idea it would take as long and be as hard as it was. 

Obviously, my "plans" didn't go as expected and the entire birth experience of my firstborn is still something I struggle with accepting today.  I spent a lot of time brushing away the nagging thoughts of grief over what could have, should have been different and feeling like a complete and total failure despite how often those closest to me reminded me that I wasn't. 

Friends would sit with wide eyes as I told my story and then I would simply laugh it off as no big deal because at least my baby was healthy and safe in my arms now.  But still, I so desperately wanted and needed to grieve. 

I told myself over and over that our son's birth would be different and better.  It couldn't possibly be worse, right?  I expected it to be shorter and easier and looked forward to a more "normal" hospital stay with a healthy newborn baby in my arms right away. 

I still remember the moment the pediatrician walked into our room after a long and difficult labor to tell us our son's lungs were working too hard and they were in the process of transferring him to the NICU, the same hospital where our daughter spent her first two weeks of life.  My "plans" suddenly fell to pieces...and so did I. 

So, now, how do I prepare myself for our third baby's arrival without setting myself up for disappointment?  How do I "plan" what I want out of the whole experience when I really don't know what to expect at all? 

I've thought about writing out a birth plan, but it seems so silly when all I really know is that this baby is going to have to come out one way or another.  I would love to have the natural, intervention free birth I first dreamed of, but I know my body and I just don't think I can do it. 

Despite the differences of my first two deliveries, one thing was the same - I couldn't progress past 5 cm until I got that epidural.  My husband teases me that I should ask for the epidural the moment we walk into the birthing room, but what if I really can do it on my own this time?  And what if I can't?  Will I feel like a failure again if I ask for an epidural? 

My friend, Laura, wrote this blog post the other day about a birth she attended as she trains to become a certified doula.  As I read her words and this mother's story, it reminded me so much of my own stories.  And then, she wrote these words:

...a woman who is taught to idolize natural childbirth is actually setup for grief if she needs medical intervention. So to truly EMPOWER mothers, you have to learn to celebrate.

CELEBRATE what your body is capable of doing.
CELEBRATE what you have available to help your body.
CELEBRATE the journey of pregnancy, labor, delivery, and motherhood.
CELEBRATE it for what it IS, not what you WISH it was.
CELEBRATE every stage, every success, every difficulty, every outcome.

And it was like she was writing my heart into words, the words I've been trying to find for over four years now.  I wanted to reach through the screen and hug her, because never before had anyone put into words so clearly and beautifully exactly what I needed to prepare for this third birth experience. 

(Imagine my surprise and delight when we actually did see each other in person just a few days later - you better believe there was a lot of hugging going on!  I believe her words were, "you're probably my best friend in Wisconsin!" Isn't it simply amazing how God brings us just the people we need exactly when we need them?) 

So, instead of writing out a birth plan or, really, instead of planning for what I want it to be or even what it could be, I'm going to celebrate every step of the way, no matter what comes my way.  I think a big part of what Laura got here is that only God really knows what will happen and that the best way to prepare is to trust Him with my future. 

And then, when all is said and done, I'm going to celebrate it for what it was - a baby fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator God and a birth fearfully and wonderfully planned by a sovereign and holy and good God.

 

Bigger Picture Moments: Love Is A Fast Song

Bigger Picture Blogs is celebrating their second birthday and, as part of the birthday celebration, has paired up several bloggers for a fun Bigger Picture Moments collaboration.   I can't say enough about the inspiration and encouragement Bigger Picture Blogs and the community that rallied around it has meant to me.  It has challenged my writing, refocused my perspective, and given me purpose and confidence in my writing.  It has played a huge part in shaping who I am and what this little space is today.  And the women that are part of this community are all sorts of wonderful - real, genuine, and inspiring women who are not afraid to write about the ups and downs of life and encourage each other on the journey. 

Kelli of Adventurez in Child Rearing and I were paired up and given a writing prompt for today's post: Love Is A Fast Song by Copeland.  I was skeptical at first remembering the dreaded group projects of grade school and college, but was surprised at how fun it was to collaborate my writing with another sweet blogger, making a new friend along the way.  As Kelli and I read through the song lyrics, we couldn't help thinking of the beautiful love stories unfolding in our own lives, the love between the people who matter most to us.  This post is about that love, the real, true, exciting, and overwhelming love that can only be written by the Creator God who holds all things together.

(Note: My words are typed in bold font and Kelli's words are typed in regular font.)

For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.  And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything He might be preeminent.

(Colossians 1:16-18)

 Photo credit: Kelli Becton

Listening to my son's tears, his pleas for daddy, and the hiccups that come between tears. My love, this man who so beautifully embraces his role as daddy, walks over, for one "last one", a gentle hug, a whisper of love, and a little boy who loves his daddy so.

Although the years pass quickly by not slowing near enough – we walk together you and I throughout the ebb and flow. Two hearts as one - old fashioned love that dares not put self first – a picture of the Father’s love and He who gave it all.

And one by one the blessings come . . .

Some days love is a slow song, carefully rocking little ones to sleep, sleepless nights drying nightmare's tears and calming little ones' fears...

And then a little one wraps his fingers around your heart and all too soon love is a fast song, sweeping you off your feet, rocking you back and forth, dancing to the beat of a love so strong and a love so sweet.

The ebb and flow of love that grows as time- quick -

marches on; a picture of the Father’s love which cannot be undone. 

Linking up over at Hyacynth's for this week's Bigger Picture Moments and the birthday celebration!



 

Weekend Reading

Just a few blog posts and articles that have encouraged and challenged me lately - so, pull up a comfy chair, grab a hot cup of tea, and enjoy these beautiful words.

Being a Mom Is One of the Hardest Things I've Ever Done
"When I first became a mom I had no idea that God was putting me on this journey of intense sanctification...But here’s the awesomeness of God. It’s in the hardest circumstances of life that exquisite beauty can appear."

What In The World Should Christians Wear?
"How much of my life is about looking spiritual on the outside — instead of living with the Spirit on the inside?"


Before Them, There Was Us
"Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the business of raising kids that we forget why we are in the business in the first place--because we actually like each other and enjoy spending time together and because we chose to be partners and companions for life!"

Living Faith Out Loud: On Battles, Real & Imaginary
"One sword that slays worry is living in the moment. One shield is finding His joy moment by moment. And perhaps the mother of all weapons is living a life entrenched in the Word."


The Dichotomy of Motherhood
"Don’t miss those moments. Don’t be too busy or too tired to hold a hand, kiss a boo-boo or pray a prayer. You provide the one thing your kids need most — love and acceptance."

"The Love Chapter" In Context
"Agape love is more important and eternal than all the spiritual gifts. In fact, love should both guide and motive the use of our spiritual gifts. Otherwise, we accomplish nothing more than a disruption."

 

Virtual Mercy Party: Mercy House Review & Giveaway

This giveaway is now CLOSED. 

Congratulations to Christie for winning a $25 gift certificate to Mercy House Shop! 

A few weeks ago, I was blessed to hear the story of Mercy House through (in)courage's (in)RL conference.  I was truly in tears as I listened to Kristen share this beautiful story.

"I asked God through tears, how He could allow so much human suffering. And I really felt like He asked me the same thing..."

"I'm a mom who set out to write a story...and that story is still writing me..."

"God has given us a dream to build a house of mercy in the heart of Africa to help pregnant girls. To save one life at a time..."

 This video shares even more about this beautiful story and what the Mercy House is all about:



Kristen said while she shared the story of Mercy House during (in)RL, "Simply put, Mercy House would not exist without social media..." The Mercy House has an online shop to sell handmade items created by these beautiful women in Africa.  This is where social media comes into play, because, in order to keep sharing this story, they have offered a review and giveaway of one of these beautiful handmade items for my readers.

 
I received one of the beautiful handmade paper bead necklaces.  When it arrived in our mailbox, I was so impressed with the quality and vibrant color.  I had imagined paper beads being very flimsy, but I was surprised by the strength and durability of the necklace.  It was truly well made and a beautiful way to remember to share the story of mercy in the heart of Africa.

One of you can also enjoy one of these beautiful handmade items in your own home.  The Mercy House has offered a $25 gift certificate to ONE winner.  To enter, please share one thing you learned about this ministry.  

For extra entries, please share a link to this video about the ministry of Mercy House on facebook, twitter, or your own blog; simply leave a comment with the direct link to your share (one entry per social media).

This giveaway will end on Friday, June 1st at 1:00 pm CST and the winner will be contacted by email so please make sure your email address is listed in your entry or available in your blogger profile.  

And, to help this beautiful ministry continue, consider shopping for the next birthday or other gift-giving event at Mercy House Shop.   

Disclosure: Mercy House provided me with a handmade paper bead necklace from their online shop as well as the giveaway for my readers in exchange for my honest thoughts and opinions as well as for sharing their ministry with my readers.  The photos and video used in this blog post are from the Mercy House website. 

Weekend Reading

I'm always sharing links to blog posts or articles that mean something to me on my personal and blog Facebook pages, but I thought it would be fun on the weekends, as a little weekly wrap up, to share some of my favorite links here to blog posts or articles I've read during the past week.  So, here are four links for your weekend reading (or, simply, for me to look back and find on a day when I really need to hear the words again).

1. The Anatomy of an Anxiety Attack (Diana of Hormonal Imbalances)
I've shared in this space my own struggles with clinical depression and anxiety.  It's so hard to put anxiety into words, because it's more than just worrying.  This is one look at what an anxiety attack is like, but they can be much, much worse and much, much more overpowering.  I appreciate this writer's honesty and vulnerability in sharing something that is so hard to talk about and so easily misunderstood.

2. Do Something Amazing For Your Marriage (Tricia Goyer)
Those moments when I am struggling the most and my husband gently grabs hold of my hand and says, "let's pray, right now" are some of the most beautiful, intimate moments.  In those moments I am most in awe of my husband's love for me...and, most importantly, his love for our God and his leadership in our home.

3. The Happy Mom Manifesto (Ann Voskamp of A Holy Experience)

Sometimes I open Ann's blog just to listen to the music, but her words are always a breath of fresh air.  This post is a beautiful manifesto of motherhood.  "The point is not a house as neat as a pin or Pinterest pinnable.  The point is a house pinned together with sacrifice and Christ and love that can withstand any winds."

4. What the Mirror Doesn't See (Lisa-Jo of The Gypsy Mama)
Lisa-Jo has this beautiful way of summing up both the struggles and joys of motherhood in words that I can never quite find on my own but that I understand completely.  This is a beautiful post about how there is always One who sees us, really sees who we are.  "He, and He alone, truly sees me."


 

Bigger Picture Moments & 5 for 5: Age

 
We sat around the island in my mom's kitchen, four generations of women forming a circle with our hands.  Because as much as pictures speak a thousand words, hands are like a glimpse into the past and this photo of four generations of hands tells more of a story than any our smiling faces would.

My grandma's one hand has only four fingers, a birth defect that has never bothered or slowed her down.  It's a hand I would know anywhere.  Every wrinkle in her hand is like a memory woven into her skin, of years gone by, ages well lived.  Hers is a hand that has held the hand of her lover as she whispered goodbye on his last day.  Hers is a hand that has welcomed generations of children and grandchildren and great grandchildren in warm embraces and words of affirmation and love captured on paper. 

My mom's hands show the lines of a woman who has raised five children and welcomed two grandchildren with open arms.  Hers are the hands of a wife who has loved her husband even through the hard years of rearing young ones and a daughter who has cared for her aging parents with such tenderness and love.  Hers are hands that planned and organized and held us all together in the good times and in the bad times. 

My hands are just beginning to show age, smooth lines slowly becoming wrinkles as my story unfolds.  These are the hands of a young mom, deep in the midst of nurturing young hearts and souls.  They are hands wrapped around her husband, safe in his embrace after a long, trying day.  They are hands that clean messes left by toddlers learning to be independent and explore their world.  They are hands gently drying a little one's tears and holding them close, wishing time would slow down, that age would not catch up with these moments.

And then there are the hands of my daughter, in that in between stage of baby and toddler.  Hers are hands that make sense of this big world around her through touch and feeling.  Her hands reach for her mommy, still so dependent on her security and understanding of all the things she has yet to learn.  Her hands clumsily grasp a little spoon, trying over and over to learn the simple task of putting the food on her plate into her mouth.  Hers are hands that haven't yet seen age stretch and scratch and bruise.

Each hand tells a story, but each story is interwoven into one of generations of women following in the footsteps of the one who has gone before.  Our hands formed a circle, uniting the years and times and ages into one beautiful story of life and love and the timelessness of age. 

 

5 for 5: Pictures

It is said that pictures speak a thousand words.  To me, they also speak a thousand memories.  One photo can unlock a whirlwind of memories, for the better or for the worse.

Last fall, after transferring all our photos to an external hard drive, our external hard drive crashed.  We tried everything to retrieve years worth of precious photos.  And yet, it still sits in our desk drawer, a prison with no key, holding captive a myriad of memories.

I called my husband in tears when it first gave me an error message.  He tried to assure me it wasn't a big deal, but to me, it was a huge deal.  Photos are my treasures, the one earthly possession I hold onto with a firm grasp, the reason I have an entire shelf of our bookshelf devoted to scrapbooks and several totes full of scrapbooking supplies.  

In our first year of marriage, my husband has teased me often.  "Why are you taking a picture of another person?  You already know what he/she looks like."  

I read this quote yesterday, "When you photograph people in color, you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in black and white you photograph their souls” (Ted Grant).

Pictures are a mirror to a person's soul.  I capture moment after moment of the same people, because they are the souls most precious to me.   And I want to remember these moments with them, because each picture tells a different story, unraveling a lifetime of memories.

A few photo treasures of mine...

Walt Disney World, January 1998: This photo tells so many stories.  The one in the wheelchair is me with my youngest brother on my lap.  My heart surgery was a few months away yet and my energy level was so low I couldn't walk through the park.  The guy waving at the camera is my friend's dad, who works at the park and was nicknamed "Mr. Disney" by my youngest brother and sister.  This is one of our most memorable family road trips, because on the drive there, in our 11 passenger van, half of us got the flu, making for a long and stinky drive...but one we will never forget. 

 Upper Peninsula Michigan, Hanes family vacation, 2010:  This photo doesn't exactly tell a story, but it still speaks a thousand words.  My son is 10 months here and almost ready to walk.  During the day he was a happy, easygoing little guy, but the moment the sun set he became a teething nightmare.  I was completely exhausted from lack of sleep and my undiagnosed struggles with depression and anxiety the entire week and even had a meltdown in front of my husband's entire family...a shame I still struggle with.

 Klein Winter Family Day, 2008:  My grandparents loved the outdoors, especially my grandma who grew up in the big woods of northern Wisconsin.   Our family started a winter tradition years ago of gathering at my aunt and uncle's home in early February to celebrate grandpa's birth and enjoy skiing and sledding on their land.  This photo is bittersweet as I miss these two deeply, but it also reminds me of two people who loved and lived life well. 

 4th of July, 2006: Every year, my dad's family gathers in the small town he grew up in for a 4th of July parade, complete with farm machinery, square dancing, and llamas.  As kids we loved collecting bags full of candy from the people throwing it out during the parade and as adults we now enjoy making "bets" on how many tractors or horses we'll see in the parade.  This photo was taken one month before I married my best friend and the smile on my face reminds me of the excitement and anticipation of that big day.

NICU, July 2008: Our journey into parenthood began with one of the scariest experiences of my life.  Our sweet pea started having seizures less than 12 hours after her birth.  This is one of the first photos of her after she was airlifted by helicopter to the nearest NICU and reminds me of those trying days of praying and waiting for her to be well again. 

 

Perfectly Loved: A Dayspring Review

It's always exciting when a Dayspring package arrives at my home, especially when I'm not expecting it.  Every so often, I sign up for a review opportunity through Dayspring, but I rarely pay it much thought after I submit the form.  Then, I am pleasantly surprised when it arrives at my door.

This month, Dayspring launched a beautiful new line of products to celebrate the debut of Holley Gerth's new book, You're Already Amazing.  Her blog is such a blessing to me.  Every time I read her words it's like I'm sitting on a couch across from her hearing her speak love and truth to my heart.  I already blogged a little bit about how this book is already blessing me, but I was even more blessed by the two beautiful products that arrived for my review.

Image from Dayspring's website

The first was this Perfectly Loved journal.  The cover says "She didn’t have to be perfect because she was perfectly loved." based on I John 4:8.  Every page has a beautiful bible verse that is a reminder of God's promises to those He so carefully and lovingly created with a specific purpose for this world.  I brought it along to the ladies retreat last weekend and immediately began using it to journal about His Word as it speaks so clearly to my heart.  I have a few miscellaneous notebooks I use for bible study, but I love having this one as a reminder to do daily devotions with Him.

 Image from Dayspring's website

The second beautiful product I received was this 6" wrapped canvas titled "Dream".  The verse on the bottom is Mark 10:27, "All things are possible with God."  It's a reminder that, when our eyes are fixed on Him and the calling He has given us, we can dare to follow our dreams, when they are perfectly aligned with His will for our lives.  Because, as Philippians 4:13 also explains, we can do ALL things through Him who gives us strength. (Now if only I could figure out the perfect place to display this beauty...I seriously need an interior decorator!)

If you haven't already discovered (in)courage, stop on over and browse around.  You will be encouraged by the beautiful women who share their hearts and the One who brings us together as a community to encourage and build each other up.  And, while you're there, you can check out the Bloom book club, because the current book selection is none other than You're Already Amazing.  It already started, but you can watch the videos and read the blog posts any time.  You're sure to be (in)couraged!

Disclosure: Dayspring and (in)courage provided me with complimentary products to review for the purpose of this blog post.  I also received a review copy of You're Already Amazing as part of the Revell Blog Tour.   The opinions and thoughts, however, are completely my own.  I really do love Dayspring products and (in)courage!

More Than Weight Loss: My Journey Towards Healthy Living

I still remember the day my cardiologist told me I was overweight.  I was a shy, self-conscious 13 year old, post heart surgery to repair a birth defect only recently discovered…and I was furious.  Who does he think he is?  My weight is my business! I thought.

But the truth was…I knew I was overweight.  I knew it the day I played dress up with a group of friends and couldn’t fit into a single dress every one of them could easily slide into.  I knew it when I went clothes shopping and often had to shop in the women’s section because the junior’s sizes were too small for me.  I knew it every time I looked in the mirror and the word “fat” jumped out and reared its ugly head at me. 

After the anger and tears wore off, I realized I had to make a choice...

 ***

To read the rest of this post, head over to My Freshly Brewed Life.  I'm guest posting as part of Barbie's Spring In My Step series. 

 

Tuesdays Unwrapped: Deliverance from the Lies

Photo credit: fwooper

Does anybody else feel exhausted just thinking about all that comes with the "holiday season"?

In the aftermath of a blessed Thanksgiving spent with family, I started to feel the anxiety and turmoil of emotions build up inside of me.  Instead of looking forward to what has always been my favorite holiday, I was dreading Christmas.

For too many reasons to recount here, I was worrying about every little thing and letting that worry eat me up inside.  I snapped at my husband and dissolved in tears Sunday night.

This morning, I read this post and I suddenly realized, maybe I'm not alone in this.  Because I often have imaginary conversations in my head and it's always the worst case, most illogical scenarios.  And they always leave me feeling hopeless, lost, and weary.

But those thoughts - they are all LIES.  And the one who feeds those lies in none other than the Deceiver himself.  He wants me to believe those lies, because the more I believe his lies, the less I have room to believe the truth.

As I sat in a puddle of tears, I heard His voice gently whispering to me.  "Open up my word, dear one.  Soak up my Truth and tell those lies they have no place in your thoughts.  Because you are my beloved and my truth will always set you free."

So, I opened up His word and fell upon these truths:

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved son. (Colossians 1:13)

Deliverance: rescued from slavery and the wrath to come.  We, who once were slaves to sin, have been set free by the blood of the Lamb.  I was once a slave to disobedience, led astray and held captive by my own selfish passions and desires...but His loving kindness was poured out richly on us when His son became the propitiation for our sins (Titus 3:3-7).  For by grace we have been saved - and oh, what grace!

But, though I have been set free, I still live in the flesh, a body wrought by sin and tempted in every which way to lead me astray yet again.  For there is still a very real battle going on amongst us - a war against the present darkness and spiritual forces of evil (Ephesians 6:12).

Yet the enemy is no match for the Lord who disarms and triumphs over that present darkness.  His immeasurable power is given to us and is far more powerful than any of the forces that battle against us (Ephesians 1:19).

For we have a home, an eternal kingdom, richly provided for us (2 Peter 1:11).  While we still live in the flesh, we will be tempted, we will face trials and tribulations, we will be fed lie after lie...but we now have the power to say to those lies, to that darkness, to BE GONE, because it has no place in my soul.   

As I read His words, His Truth washed over me, blotting out the lies and replacing them with the truth of grace and mercy and hope and life.  What He has done for me is reason enough to praise Him, reason enough to stop believing the lies and start living in the Truth.  So, this "holiday season", I'm refocusing my thoughts and my emotions on the One who was the greatest gift of all.

Because, as cliche as it sounds, He really is the reason for the season.


*Linking up with Chatting at the Sky. 

November Simple Swap: Chicken & Lentil Bean Soup

We all want to live healthier, more intentional lives, but sometimes it seems overwhelming and daunting to take even small steps toward our ideals because there are so many steps before us.

Simple Swap was born out of a desire and passion to encourage other women on journeys toward living healthier, more inspired, intentional lifestyles through implementing one simple swap per month. 

Each swap will:
1. Take 30 minutes or less to accomplish
2. Be inexpensive to implement or boast overall, long-haul {health} savings 
3. Focus on improving health/eco-friendliness, being good stewards of our resources and/or fostering a creative and intentional life.

 ***

With Thanksgiving coming so soon, this month's Simple Swap is to swap out an unhealthy fat for a healthier one and share a recipe.  Hyacynth suggests using coconut oil in place of butter.  I've never used coconut oil, but I do love a similar swap, grapeseed oil.  

 Here are just a few of the wonderful benefits of grapeseed oil: 

• There are NO preservatives such as TBHQ or BHT.
• It is NOT hydrogenated.
• There is NO sodium.
• NO trans fatty acids.
• NO cholesterol (it actually aids in cholesterol reduction).
• It has one of the lowest levels of saturated fats of all oils. 
• It is easily digestible 

 I've been using grapeseed oil for a few years already, which is one of the reasons I fell in love with Wildtree and decided to be a consultant.  

Another swap I've used for years is ground turkey or chicken in place of ground beef.  My mom taught me that swap, because it was a healthier and cheaper option for our big family.   

For this month's simple swap, I decided to try something new too: swapping beans in place of red meat.  My cousin, Stacy, made a delicious lentil bean soup when we visited her the last time and I decided to incorporate lentil beans in my own recipes.  

 

I combined my two favorite swaps, grapeseed oil and ground chicken, with the lentil beans to make a delicious soup recipe that our whole family could enjoy. 

Chicken & Lentil Bean Soup

1 cup Bob's Red Mill Lentil Beans

1 pound ground chicken cooked in 1/2 TBSP grapeseed oil

1 bag frozen veggies or fresh vegetables of your choice

1 container of chicken broth

salt and pepper to season

Add all plus water (depending on how much "broth" you want to have in your soup) into a large cooking pot.  Heat until boiling and then reduce heat and simmer with cover for about an hour.  I often get a soup cooking when my husband goes out for a bike ride and then we'll enjoy it when he comes home an hour to an hour and a half later.  Enjoy with your favorite bread or crackers and a hot cup of tea.

Don't forget to check out the two giveaways I put up over the weekend - a Courageous resolution print and Earth Mama Angel Baby organic liquid soap. 

Just Write: You Don't Define Me

Today, a friend told me she had shared part of my story with her daughter and her daughter said, "really?  how can she struggle with that?  she's always so happy and she has such cute kids."  It made me think, if, from the outside, I look all put together and like the picture perfect mom and wife, what does that mom struggle with who seems to have it all? 

Because the truth is we all struggle.  But, I have found that women are very good at hiding it.  We put on a happy face, pretend nothing is wrong, so that, from the outside, we do look like we have it all together.  We're afraid to say what we really feel, because we wonder what that friend or that mom who seems to have it all together will think of me...if they really knew. 

Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.  Instead of seeing the good that He has made in me, I see my mess, the times I say the wrong thing, the times I yell or scream and let my anger get the better of me, the times I turn the other way instead of following the path God has for me, the times I hurt a friend or buried my own hurt for so long that I made a mess of what could have been a sweet friendship. 

I know where I have been and sometimes I am still afraid that I will go back there.  I have known myself at my worst and sometimes I forget that it doesn't define me, that His blood has separated me from my sins as far as the east is from the west. 

I love this song by Barlow Girl:

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Oh, how I know these words.  My mirror tells me "you are not good enough.  you will never measure up.  you will never be that mom.  you will never be that wife.  you might as well give up, because you will just continue to make a mess."  But God wants me to say...

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

As God has brought me to a place of healing and victory, He has slowly been helping me see the me that He sees and love.  He gently whispers to my heart "you are beautiful.  you are loved.  you are exactly who I made you to be."  He is the One who makes beauty out of my mess, the One who can use even me for His glory, the One who has a good and perfect plan just for me. 

Sunday Scripture

Photo credit: DerekL

 

"Oh come, let us sing to the LORD;
let us make a joyful noise 

to the rock of our salvation! 

Let us come into his presence with 

thanksgiving; 

let us make a joyful noise to him 

with songs of praise! 

For the LORD is a great God, 

and a great King above all gods."

{Psalm 95:1-3} 

This month, in honor of Thanksgiving, I'm re-learning to give thanks to God in all things.  I'm posting 30 Days of Thanks on facebook and will post them all here at the end of the month.  Will you join in on this giving thanks, here, on facebook, on your own blog, or simply on a piece of paper at home?  It's all about turning the tough moments into opportunities to praise the One who has blessed us with more than we deserve and being reminded that He really is GOOD at all times.  I find that when I focus on the blessings He has given me, I can find joy no matter what comes my way.  

And, a HUGE congratulations to my sweet friend, Kristin, on the birth of her beautiful baby boy, Matthew.  He is absolutely precious!  I'm so happy for you, Kristin!

Creative Oasis

Oasis:  a place of peace or something serving as a refuge, relief, or pleasant change in the midst of trouble or difficulty

My friend, Hyacynth, created a challenge called Simple Swaps "as a way of encouraging my friends here to find the time and resources to make simple changes aimed at gaining a healthier, more inspired, intentional lifestyle."  This month's Simple Swap is Creative Oasis.  She realizes that moms often put themselves last and forget to take time to retreat and breathe in the midst of the chaos of everyday life, so this month's challenge is to create a place of refuge, relief, retreat, "one that invites us in to it and allows our creativity to flow, says welcome with its sights, sounds and smells; a Creative Oasis is the cure for creative slumps and much-needed respites for sure."

I didn't really think I'd be joining in on this challenge, until I began a cleaning frenzy this week.  After another sinus infection and an appointment with an allergist to finally pinpoint the specific allergies that have been plaguing me, I decided it was time to get out of my creative slump and clean.  Because cleaning helps me unwind and having a clean house also helps clear my mind.

As I wrote to Hyacynth today, my mind has been very jumbled lately.  It's been one busy week after another and the housework just kept piling up.  I was so tired from the allergy problems I've been having and just plain worn out from all the busy-ness that I was really in a creative slump.  I haven't been able to figure out how to write in order to blog, because the moment I sit here and try to figure out what to say, I draw a blank and all I want to do is rest.  My sewing machine has also been sitting by the wayside.  I think the last time I used it was in July.  


I've been saving all kinds of DIY projects on Pinterest, like this Halloween costume idea and this Thanksgiving shirt idea for miss V, this scrap wreath for fall, and this owl ribbon blanket for my cousin's newbie.  But, I haven't had the motivation or the creative energy to actually create them.  So, I decided it was time for me to revamp my sewing desk to make a creative oasis just for me.  (And I totally forgot to take a before picture - oops!)

After all the cleaning I did today, I moved my sewing table to a window with more natural light (which will be really good in winter to soak up the much needed and rare sunshine).  I de-cluttered my craft supplies and made some actual space on my desk so I can finally create some of these beautiful projects.  I found two picture frames and added some sweet pictures to inspire me.  I added a picture frame my friend, Madeline, made for me in college with one of my favorite bible verses, to remind me that no matter how hard my day is, He gives me exactly what I need.  I placed a pretty pink candle from a friend's wedding next to one of the picture frames, because what says peace more than a burning candle?  Finally, I hung a sun-catcher on the window (which was a little late addition so it's not in the first photo)...and...voila!

Welcome to my creative oasis!  I can hardly wait to start creating!

(Thank you SO much, Hyacynth, for encouraging me to go for it.  It really was just what I needed!)