75 (Facebook) Fan Giveaway!

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At the beginning of the year, I decided to create a facebook page for this blog. It's been a fun way to share blog posts that have inspired or encouraged me, pass along daily deals and fun links I come across, and interact more with my blog readers. I decided it would be fun to share a little giveaway for my facebook fans once I reached 75 likes and last week was the week!

So, as a thank you, I'm giving away a copy of Angie Smith's What Women Fear.  Angie's blog is one of the first blogs I read.  I just love Angie's writing and her heart for the Lord. This was definitely a book I could not put down until I finished it. As someone who struggles with anxiety, which often manifests itself in fear, I felt like she was reading my mind in so many ways.

But Angie knows, "there is a difference in learning from past mistakes and ruminating over the million-and-one-ways we might have done it better" (page 25).  Nothing good comes from dwelling on the past, but sometimes it is still so hard to move forward.  Angie writes from experience, because she knows what it is to live in fear. But she also knows what it is to live in freedom.  Instead of letting the fear consume, she chooses to run to Him, lay it all at His feet, and rest on His promises. 

I shared yesterday about the anxiety and fear that still grip me at times and how every day I have to remind myself to trust that He knows my tomorrow and that His grace is more than enough.  It really is all about grace.  The more I fear the unknown or even dwell on what I do know of the past, the more I realized how desperately I need Him...and how my very life depends on Him.

"You will walk for the rest of your days telling the story of redemption, not in words or deeds, but in your very existence.  Not she who would have existed if not for that night, but rather, she who chased Him in faith, and refused to let Him go."  (page 63)

 PS - You can find out more about Angie's book through videos and blog posts done by (in)courage's Bloom Book Club. 

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The Gift of Holiness

"It's not always easy to believe that God sees me as perfectly righteous in Christ, especially since I know my own downfalls, my past, and myself.  I happen to have been around for my whole life, so I know the underbelly of me.  We each carry an array of experiences that defiles - or makes us feel defiled - in some manner, and it is precisely at these points that our belief in justification is challenged."

(Kelly Minter, The Fitting Room)

I have spent too many of my days wondering how I can ever measure up, why I can never be good enough...when the truth is I will never be good enough.  I cannot earn my way to righteousness, because I do not deserve it.

The word holy means sacred, consecrated, blessed, set apart.  There is only one way to righteousness and it is not my own way.  I am "made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all" (Hebrews 10:10).  He's already done for me what I can't do for myself. 

This is the free gift He has given.  "For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight" (Ephesians 1:14).  He chose me, not because of anything I have done, not because I deserve it, not because I will ever be good enough.  It is a gift He freely gave, no strings attached. 

Jesus Christ "has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done, but because of His own purpose and grace" (2 Timothy 1:9).  Grace.  Oh, how I love that word.  Holiness, righteousness, justification are freely given to me because of His grace. 

And those are the words that set me free.  For the Truth does indeed set us free.

Chosen, Holy, LOVED

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12)

Do you know what it means to be chosen, holy, and loved?

I can remember so many times when I wanted so much to be chosen, holy, loved by the worlds standards, only to be completely disappointed.

But, the truth is, I was looking for acceptance in all the wrong places.

God says in His word that though we are rejected by men, in the sight of God we are chosen and precious. 

I just love the word precious.  It means dear, beloved, of great value, cherished.  Not only did God, the One who spoke the world into existence and breathed His life into each living creature, but He calls me precious, beloved, cherished, valuable.

Oh, those words bring so much joy to my heart.  I've read these truths over and over, but today they really spoke to my heart.

1 Peter 1:2 says that because we are chosen, He has given us grace and peace in abundance.

Peace: contentment, security, rest.

Today, I am going to rest in these truths, allowing Him to fill me with His grace and peace because I am chosen, holy, loved.

Living Fully Right Where I Am

I love this post by Shaun Groves, where he explored the meaning behind Ann's salutation of "All's Grace".

All’s a gift. And it’s all I need. All sufficient. And for all.

If all’s a gift then it’s not mine because of my intellect. The pressure’s off to be the brightest.

If all’s a gift then it’s not mine because I earned it. The pressure’s off to work the hardest.

If all’s a gift then it’s not mine because I’m good. The pressure’s off to be the best.

All’s grace.

This is exactly how to live my life fully right where I am...remembering that I can't ever be good enough on my own, I will always fail on my own...because He is all I need, all sufficient, and ALL is really grace.  It's ALL about grace. 

Several years ago, I started ending my own correspondences with "In Christ".  When I made a conscious decision to live for Him, everything I did was for Him and in Him.  1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (NIV).  Ann says (One Thousand Gifts, page 61):

The gift list is thinking upon His goodness - and this, this pleases Him most!  And most profits my own soul and I am beginning, only beginning, to know it.  If clinging to His goodness is the highest form of prayer, then this seeing His goodness with a pen, with a shutter, with a word of thanks, these really are the most sacred acts conceivable...Eucharisteo takes us into His love.

I can only live this life fully if I live it in Him, and living in Him is living right where I am, in the every day moments of the life He has blessed me with.  So, my list continues, because "God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy" (One Thousand Gifts, page 57). 

#16 - sleeping in on a Tuesday morning until almost 9 o'clock - one good thing about the time change

#17 - staring at my son's sweet smile and bright blue eyes as he happily nurses in the morning

#18 - chatting with my sister about her wedding plans and planning a fun engagement photo shoot

#19 - sorting through project life photos and being reminded of the sweet moments everyday with my two sweet babies

#20 - SUNlight streaming through the windows

#21 - blossoms budding on trees, a sign that spring will come

#22 - A's deep belly laughs from simply giving him some of my undivided attention

#23 - quiet bliss of afternoon nap time

#24 - focus on the family broadcasts on the radio for me to listen to during nap time

#25 - sweet sister-friends who encourage, love, and pray for me right when I need it most

#26 - Thursday morning fellowship with mom-friends who completely understand and love me unconditionally

#27 - my hubby publicly declaring that he is proud of me for my efforts to workout and be healthy

#28 - a husband who cherishes the vows "in sickness and in health" and says "I will take care of you"

#29 - a rainy day washing away the snow and ushering in spring

#30 - laughter in the midst of my sleep deprived state

#31 - sleeping in on a rainy Tuesday morning

#32 - babies who love grocery shopping adventures just as much as their mommy

#33 - waking up to Sweet Pea crawling into bed with me and smiling the sweetest morning smile

#34 - FINALLY getting the old couch out of the living room

#35 - homebound on a snowy day in March with two sweet babies

#36 - bath time

#37 - a healthy new nephew

#38 - freshly made beds

#39 - morning tea and Saturday morning family breakfast

#40 - shopping adventures

#41 - babies giggling and smiling on the drive to our shopping adventure

#42 - money for fresh groceries every week

#43 - kisses

#44 - Sunday afternoon naps

#45 - ice cream outing with our neighbors

#46 - thunderstorms

#47 - a new day, a fresh start, and the fact that His mercies are new every morning

In Christ,

Learning to Give Thanks

I've been silent here lately, because my heart has been struggling...struggling to believe the truths instead of the lies, to be content in the here and now, to enjoy the sweet moments instead of dwelling on what I'm missing, to find joy in the hope of my salvation every single day.  I had set down this book because I was too busy...but I picked it up last night and started reading where I left off.  And right away, Ann's words brought me back to a place where I could see and feel and hear God's word speaking to my heart.  In Philippians 4:11-12, Paul says that he has learned to be content no matter what life brings his way, no matter how hungry or hurt or lonely he is.  And the secret to that contentment? 

"There it is - the secret to living joy in every situation, the full life of eucharisteo.  Twice Paul whispers it: 'I have learned...'  Learned.  I would have to learn eucharisteo - learn to live fully.  Learn it like I know my skin, my face, the words on the end of my tongue.  Like I know my own name.  Learn how to be thankful - whether empty or full." (page 47)

The secret to being content, to finding joy in the every day moments is something I will have to learn.  And what better way to start than by making my own one thousand gifts list?  I need to focus on the little blessings, gifts God gives me each day, so I can be constantly reminded that He is blessing me here and now, right where I am, that this is exactly where He wants me to be.  So, today, I begin my list and begin learning eucharisteo, giving thanks to the One who is better than life.

#1 - memories of time spent with family and sunny warm days in Texas

#2 - the laughter of two sweet children

#3 - hearing "mommy" and seeing my little ones run into my arms with a bright smile

#4 - knowing where my Hope is when this life ends

#5 - the quiet of a Monday morning with both babies still sleeping after a peaceful and full night of sleep

#6 - the sun shining in our windows and chasing away the winter blues

#7 - encouragement and steadfast love from a mom who has seen me through so many trials

#8 - being surprised by my husband's warm embrace and gentle kisses in the middle of the day

#9 - 2 Corinthians 4:6-10 and the fact that my treasures are not in this world, but stored up in heaven for an eternity

#10 - this book that dares me to live fully right where I am

#11 - watching my brother in law marry his best friend and watching their love story unfold

#12 - a sickness that held off until after the wedding ceremony

#13 - marriage vows that say in sickness and in health and a husband who has cherished those vows more than I deserve this year

#14 - Starbucks coffee brewing in the kitchen to start my Monday morning

#15 - time spent in His word this morning and being reminded that He knows my heart and still chose to love me

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:11-13)

An Emptier, Fuller Life

"What does it mean to be full of grace and to become who God really intends us to be...when life hurts and aches and doesn't work out the way we intend it to be?" 

Ann's story starts with her deepest pain, the death of her 18 month old sister when she was only four.  "That was the moment that sort of shattered everything." This is her earliest memory and the moment that really defined her life.  We all have a story, a moment or moments that define us.  The beauty of Ann's story is that she chose to praise and honor God even in her deepest pain, to step back and ask "What is God's heart towards me when something happens that is really awful?" 

After reading this first chapter and watching the video of chapter one, I've been thinking about the pain in my own life, the moments that defined me.  Angie asks the question "what was the time period or circumstance that prompted the beginning of your “story” with God?"  One of my earliest memories is laying on my mattress on the floor the first night we moved into our new house.  I remember my mom coming in to say our bedtime prayers and suddenly my mind started wondering about God and how He could have created everything out of nothing, how He has always been there, and how can I possibly grasp what eternity is?  I wanted to know about this God I was praying to, who He really was and how He really loved me.

But then my story began to be filled with pain...the suicide death of my uncle, the car accident that almost took my aunt's life, the work accident that almost took my uncle's arm, the train accident that took the life of the grandpa of two of my classmates and the leg of their younger sister, the hurt and pain caused by girls who claimed to be my friends and the trying to figure out who I was as I became a young woman, the sudden death of my teacher's daughter, the car accident that took the life of a friend and her younger sister, the heart condition that left me weak, tired, and in desperate need of open heart surgery.  These moments were some of the darkest and hardest moments of my childhood.  Every new heartache left me wondering "Is there really a God who loves me?  If there is, how could He allow so much pain in my life?" 

But, as Ann says in chapter one "that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond.  To Him.  To the God whom we endlessly crave...to live full of grace and joy and all that is beauty eternal.  It is possible, wildly.  I now see and testify.  So this story - my story.  A dare to an emptier, fuller life."  I love the phrase "an emptier, fuller life", because it is in our deepest pain, when we are left with nothing, when we are on our knees begging Him to heal our broken hearts and wondering how we can possible live from that point on, that He steps in and shows us how to fully live, to live in the freedom, the grace, the joy that He has prepared for us.

The thing is...once I made that choice to serve Him, to life for Him, the painful circumstances didn't stop.  As my story continued, life continued to bring pain and heartache...a painful end to a long term relationship, the seizures that left our newborn daughter weak and vulnerable and in the NICU for almost two weeks, the death of my great aunt, the early arrival of our son whose lungs were not quite ready to breathe on their own and another NICU stay, the death of my grandfather, the winter depression that has left me struggling to believe His truths and not the lies.  But, the beauty of my story is that I continue to choose Him, to praise and honor Him even when it is so, so hard.

I have begun to write my own list of 1000 gifts.  Writing out His everyday blessings has reminded me that even when life is hard, He is still good.  I can rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer (Romans 12:12 - my memory verse from the last two weeks that has finally sunk into my heart)...because He knows me, He loves me, and He will work all things together for good for those who love Him. 

Right Where You Are

I am the oldest of five children, a mom of a one year old and a two year old, a wife of 4 1/2 years to my sweet husband...but, most importantly, I am a child of the King, a daughter of the promise, a woman of faith.  I am not perfect, but my God is.  He redeems me from the pit and restores my soul each and every day.  He is bigger than any heartache or any struggle.  He is the life I breathe and the hope I live for.  This is where I am right now.  I am so thankful to serve a God who can change me and make me new, whose mercies are new every morning.

Check out Ann's Bloom (in)courage post "Welcome...Right Where You Are" and consider joining in on this book club study of her book "One Thousand Gifts", a book that is sure to challenge you to see the beauty and blessings in every day life and the greatness of a God who has given us more than enough for each day. 

Project Life 2011: Week 3

We visited with my sister, Kelly, today, on one of her last days home for Christmas break. We went flower girl dress shopping for Maxx & Kelly's wedding and Valerie had so much fun twirling around in pretty dresses. She loves her Aunt Kelly so much; when we got out of the van at the store, she refused to hold my hand and ran up to Aunt Kelly begging to be held.

My friend, Mellie, and I decided to switch off grocery shopping and babysitting, so we can do our shopping alone. Today, I watched her three little ones, Zoe, Malachi, and Michaiah. It's so cute to see their little friendships blossoming already. Malachi and Valerie were having "dinner dates" at the 50s diner and giggling hysterically over tickle wars.

One of my goals this year is to lose 50 pounds to lose the baby weight and be at a healthy weight again. It's been rough with all my sinus issues, but I'm already feeling and seeing the difference as I've lost 11 pounds total so far. I haven't quite gone down a pants size yet, but my pants are loose and I fit into a size smaller dress for my sister's wedding!

Almanzo loves books; he is constantly pulling the chapter books off the shelf in their bedroom and paging through them pretending to read. Today, he sat on the rocking chair reading a first words book, pointing to the pictures and "reading" them to me in his own baby babble.

Today was my 27th birthday. We celebrated with a delicious and healthy lasagna dinner with my parents and brothers. My mom bought this delicious cookie cake so they could sing happy birthday to me. It was so cute watching my kids dance and clap while they sang. I am truly blessed!

Today my sinus pressure was giving me one of the worst headaches, so I stayed home from church in the morning. Ted took Almanzo with him and Valerie stayed home to cuddle with me. She is really the best medicine there is.

I started reading Ann Voskamp's book today for the (in)courage Bloom Book Club. Her words seemed to just leap off the page and grab my heart in a way no other book, besides the Bible, has ever done. I am so excited about this book and even more excited to write my own 1000 gifts list. In my own struggles lately, I have been learning just how much I need my Lord...so reminding myself daily of the blessings or gifts He has given me in the little things that fill my day is exactly what I need.

Memory Verse Monday & One Thousand Gifts

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Philippians 4:8)

Rhea Briscoe shared this verse at our ladies' retreat a few weeks ago.  She gave the verse to me when she sat and prayed with me and reminded me to fix me eyes on Jesus, instead of the lies and depression that try to take me captive.  She said to use this verse as a test when thoughts of being a failure, not being good enough fill my head.  The moment a thought is formed, I should ask myself:

Is it true?

The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood. (John 7:18)

Is it honorable?

Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. (1 Peter 2:12)

Is it just?

Justice, and only justice, you shall follow, that you may live and inherit the land that the LORD your God is giving you. (Deuteronomy 16:20)

Is it pure?

...our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. (Titus 2:13b-14)

Is it lovely?

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

Is it praiseworthy?

so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 1:7)

Anything thought that doesn't pass this test has no place in my life.  It is a lie that the enemy, Satan, wants me to believe, but I will not let Him have a foothold.

***

Tonight, I started reading a book that held me so captive.  The words, beautiful words, seemed to leap out of the page and grab my heart in a way no book, other than God's word, has ever done for me.  They are the words of Ann Voskamp, a farmer's wife, who shares her own struggles and strongholds and how she learned to find beauty and grace in the every day.  She started sharing her list of 1000 gifts, praises to God for the little blessings she recognized in her life each day.  That list grew into a book, One Thousand Gifts.  I already started writing my own 1000 Gifts list and it has made it easier to think on these things.  If you haven't read Ann's blog yet, go check it out; you are sure to be blessed by her words.  And, if you want to read her book, watch the book trailer below and consider joining the (in)courage Bloom Book Club as we read and discuss her book.