Bigger Picture Moment: Legacy of Love

 
Today, on the 2nd day of February, a month that celebrates love, I'm reminiscing about one love story that holds a special place in my heart. It is a love story I've not only heard, but seen played out in the lives of two people who not only spoke their vows, but lived them every single day of their 62 years together.

I still remember watching my grandma sit at the bedside of the man she vowed to spend her life with, till death do us part.  She held his hand, whispered words of love, cried as she said goodbye, and watched as he breathed his last.  Even after his spirit was gone and his body was left an empty shell of the man we all so loved, my grandma sat there talking to him and sharing her heart as she began to process life without him.

I watched her body go limp as they carried his body away for the last time, held up by her eldest son who never once left her side that day.  I heard her grief over the phone when I called her one day shortly after as she whispered through her tears, "I just miss him so much". 

Through the years, I watched their love continue to blossom, my grandpa reaching over to hold her hand, leaning down to kiss her in the middle of a family gathering, eyes shining with a love so deep.  I saw the way they held each other up through the hard times and knew that one day I wanted to find a love like theirs.

In the last year and a half since he left her side, she continued to journal and write him letters, this time writing about her "life after Paul".  She shared with me stories of their years together, of the house they designed and built together, of the family they raised and cherished together, of the losses they walked through together.  Her eyes still held a sparkle every time she spoke of him.

I remember my mom saying once that she hoped they both died at the same time, because she couldn't imagine the one without the other.  When grandpa died, we were so grateful for the time we still had with grandma.  Still, she once said, "I know I have so many family and friends who love me...but, at the end of the day, it's just me."  I know there wasn't a day that went by she didn't miss him, feel the emptiness where his presence used to be.

I can only imagine what life would be like without the man I loved for 62 years.  I pray for many more years with my husband, because I want to know that kind of deep love that weathered a lifetime together.  I want my children to see our love lived out loud, so they can continue that legacy of love in their own homes one day.

The Art of Marriage

Our Valentine's gift to each other this year was attending a marriage conference put on by Family Life and presented at our church called The Art of Marriage.  We have made a commitment to make our marriage a priority and we knew this weekend was going to be a blessing to us.  I don't think I can even put into words just how blessed we were to be a part of this weekend, to focus on the heart of God's design for our marriage.

•  "The ultimate purpose of marriage is to reflect God's image." (The Art of Marriage)
• "I didn't marry you because you were perfect...I married you because you gave me a promise.  That promise made up for your faults.  And the promise I gave you made up for mine.  Two imperfect people got marriaged, and it was the promise that made the marriage.  And when our children were growing up, it wasn't the house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them; it was that promise."  (Thornton Wilder, The Skin of Our Teeth)
• "Another result of sin was marital conflict.  Instead of completing each other, Adam and Eve began to compete with each other." (The Art of Marriage)
• "The gospel of Christ crucified for our sins is the foundation of our lives.  Marriage exists to display it.  And when marriage breaks down, the gospel is there to forgive and heal and sustain until he comes, or until he calls."  (John Piper, This Momentary Marriage)

During the breaks between sessions, we sat in our car together, just the two of us, and used the projects in the event book to open up discussion, communication, and honesty about areas we each need to work on, ways we have been encouraged by each other, and how we can build up and love each other more.  We prayed together, wrote each other love letters, and encouraged each other to live out the roles God designed us for. 

• The husband's calling is to love and lead as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).  
• My calling, as a wife, is to be his helper, to respect him and cheer him on as the leader in our home, and to submit to his leadership, even when I may not agree.  

No matter whether you've been married for 1 year or 50 years or are only beginning the journey towards marriage, this is an event that I would encourage for all couples, because there are so many misconceptions about love and marriage.  God created marriage to be something beautiful, but it can only be beautiful when He is the anchor.

• "Love is not a feeling, it's a commitment...no matter what, I will stand by [my wife]." (Charles Powell)
• “In all these years together, I’ve never once stopped loving you. And I love you more today than all of the days gone by." ("I’ve Never Once Stopped Loving You", Mary May Larmoyeux)

I also wanted to share as a HUGE praise that God used this weekend at our church to minister to over 50 marriages and bring 4 people to receive Christ as their Savior.  And I think it is only the beginning of how God is going to use this ministry.  What a great God we serve!

Real Life Love Story #5

Ted and I have been married for three and a half years.  Our love story has only just begun, but we have both told each other over and over, day in and day out, that we are in this for the rest of our lives, through good times and bad, no matter what.  Here is the beginning of our love story...

Ted grew up in a small town in Michigan.  He was home schooled and then attended Michigan Tech where he pursued an engineering degree.  When he graduated, he began working at a machine shop until he could find a more permanent job in engineering.  He soon found a job in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin working for Mercury Marine.  So, he packed up his belongings and headed off to begin a new chapter of his life.

Stephanie grew up in Wisconsin, just an hour north of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin.  In third grade, she knew she wanted to become a teacher someday.  Her senior year of high school, she knew without a doubt that she wanted to go to Marian College in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, well known for both its nursing and teaching programs.  Within a few weeks of her first semester of college, she found a church that she fell in love with.  She was dating a guy she met in high school, but by their sophomore year of college, they realized they were not meant to be together.  The beginning of her junior year was a difficult time as her heart was aching over this broken relationship.  She realized she needed to surrender her life to God's will and began to trust Him to unfold His plans for her life, even though she had no idea where it would lead her.

Ted moved to Fond du Lac that same winter and, after attending several churches, found the church that he knew he was meant to be at (mostly because there were several young single women!).  He remembers meeting Stephanie for the first time at a Wednesday night college age bible study.  Stephanie doesn't quite remember that first meeting, because it was during finals week concluding a very difficult semester of classes.  Her first memory of him was at their Pastor's house for lunch on a Sunday afternoon.  Stephanie and her roommate, Jenny, often went to Pastor's house for lunch on Sundays and one Sunday Pastor invited Ted to join them as well.  

Stephanie remembers walking into the living room at Pastor's house and seeing Ted stand up from the couch to come over and introduce himself.  She thought he was quite the gentleman, but wasn't sure what to think of his quiet and reserved nature.  He thought she seemed like a "decent girl".  They continued to see each other on Wednesday nights and would often end up talking for a little bit afterwards.  When Stephanie mentioned she was part of a show choir that would be performing at her college soon, Ted asked her when it was and told her he would try to come watch her.  She didn't think he would really come and was quite surprised when he showed up to one of the performances.  It was the talk of her show choir for the rest of the weekend that a young man had come to see her perform.  It was also the talk of his family that he had gone to see a girl in a musical performance, something he wasn't normally interested in.  

It wasn't until one Wednesday night, when they ended up walking to their cars together that Ted finally asked her out on a date.  They stood talking for a few awkward moments before heading their separate ways.  Stephanie knew he was going to ask her out and was trying to make small talk.  He thought it was funny to make her wait, because he knew she was expecting him to ask her out.  When he finally did, she said yes and was nervously excited as she walked to her car.  The evening of their first date, she was a nervous wreck, fidgeting and constantly looking at her cell phone to check the time during her last class of the day.  Her friend, Candace, kept laughing at her and telling her to relax.  When he finally came to pick her up for their date, she realized she had nothing to worry about, because he was so easy to talk to.  They talked the whole way to the restaurant and laughed as they had to pull over and get out a map to find their way.  They ate at a little supper club, but all Stephanie remembers is how comfortable she was talking to him and how much she enjoyed spending time with him.  

After a few weeks of casual get-togethers, she finally asked him what was going on between them.  He said, "I think I've got myself a girlfriend" and she said "I think that sounds good".  They enjoyed many adventures during the next year, including many hikes, visits with her family, a trip to Michigan to meet his family, a trip to New York to visit his sister and her husband, and bike rides on the tandem bike he purchased from the local bike shop just for them.  The first time Stephanie met his family, she knew he was the one, because she felt right at home with his family and they welcomed her with open arms.  The second time she visited his family, they asked when they were getting married and she laughed and replied, "I don't know, but I told Ted the only piece of jewelry he needs to buy me is a ring!" 

Almost a year after they started dating, they had a long talk about where there relationship was headed.  Ted told Stephanie he didn't love her and wasn't sure where there relationship was going.  She was very upset and didn't like not knowing what their future held.  She thought for sure their relationship was going to be over, but he convinced her to wait it out and be patient.  

Just a few months later, during her semester of student teaching, she went to visit him in the evening.  She made dinner in his apartment while he went out for his daily bike ride.  After dinner, he asked her if she wanted to go for a walk at the park where he often went mountain biking.  It was getting dark out as they started walking and, as the sun began to set, he found a spot up on the hill overlooking the lake and asked her to sit with him and watch the sunset.  They sat in silence for a little while, enjoying the beauty of that sunset.  Suddenly, Ted whispered to her, "I've decided that I love you...and I have something for you if you'll have it."  She was so surprised to hear him say he loved her that she almost didn't see him pull out a ring from his pocket.  She looked over at him to tell him she loved him too and saw him holding a beautiful engagement ring in his hand.  She said yes and they sat in silence as the reality of their big decision began to sink in.  She couldn't stop smiling as she realized God had proven Himself faithful and had blessed her more than she could have ever imagined.

They walked back to his car holding hands and picked up ice cream to eat by the lake as they called their parents.  Stephanie still remembers laughing as Ted calmly talked to his dad about their evening before casually slipping into the conversation the fact that he had asked her to be his wife.  Karl responded, "You did what?"  so Ted repeated calmly, "I asked Stephanie to marry me."  After a pause, Karl asked, "Well, what'd she say?"  They had to wait a little while for his mom to call them back, but when she did there was a lot of screaming and excitement as his mom and his sister, Laura, heard their big news.  When they called Stephanie's parents, her sister, Kelly, answered the phone.  Stephanie could barely contain her excitement as she burst out her news.  When Kelly finally realized what she had said, she started screaming and her mom quickly grabbed the phone from her to share in the excitement.  

On the way home that night, Stephanie couldn't stop staring at the ring on her hand, signifying a new journey in her life.  For the next three months, she eagerly awaited and planned for their wedding day.  They knew they didn't want a long engagement, because they were ready to spend their lives together.  It was a busy three months, but it was worth it.  When Stephanie finally walked down the aisle of the church where they first met, there were no tears, because she was filled with joy for this new journey in her life.  

Soon after their first anniversary, Ted and Stephanie were surprised but excited to realize they were expecting their first child.  Their second anniversary was spent at home enjoying their new family of three after an emotional two weeks following her birth.  Six months after she was born, they were excited to announce they were expecting again and spent their third anniversary eagerly awaiting his arrival.  It has not been an easy three years, but they have learned that love is a choice they must make each day.  The difficult times have made them stronger as a couple and made them even more committed to making their marriage last.  They learn more about each other everyday and are still learning to communicate and understand each other.  They are committed, because they know a lasting love is worth fighting for, is worth the challenges and the struggles.  They look forward to spending the "next 100 years together" (as Ted says) or however long the Lord wills. 

 

 

 

Real Life Love Story #4

Karl and Kathy are my husband's parents.  I am so thankful to have them for in-laws because they welcomed me into their family with open arms.  They have also shown us another beautiful example of a lasting and committed marriage.  This was the first time I heard their love story and I was so blessed by it.

Pursuing Love

Kathy's family moved to Grant, Michigan when she was 12.  Her family came from a small church with less than ten in the youth meetings, so she was a little overwhelmed when their new church had almost 50 in the youth meetings.  There was a young man named Karl whose family attended the same church, but it wasn't until high school when he first caught her eye.  He and his friends loved Thursday's lunch special, sloppy joes, so they would wait around the corner until the principal wasn't looking and break into a full blown race to be first in line.  Kathy was not impressed.  In fact, she found it "very repulsive".  


After high school, Karl took a job in a factory for a year.  When the Vietnam War draft started, he decided to sign up for four years in the Army.  Kathy decided to pursue a teaching degree.  During leave from Korea, Karl's cousin, Jerry, said, "Why don't you check out one of 'those Breen girls'?"  At a college age Sunday School class party, Kathy saw him looking her way and thought "Oh brother, he is going to ask me out!".  She was right and they ended up going to the Sand Lake 4th, a carnival set up in the park every year.  Kathy was a little nervous about dating him because she had heard he had "Roman hands and Russian fingers".  He turned out to be a perfect gentleman and, as she says, "his hands were warm, big and strong when he helped me around the mud there".  


When his leave was over, Karl began writing to Kathy from the mountains of Germany.  She was busy with her Senior year of college and getting ready to do her student teaching before graduating in the spring.  Her sister, Rosalie told her, "Good grief!  What the problem?  This is a boy from our church serving his country across the world.  Of course he needs letters and a box of cookies!"  Kathy finally responded to his letters, but was surprised when he asked her to wear his class ring.  She told him no and that she didn't feel that way about him.  


During a difficult student teaching experience, a 6th grade classroom in an inner city school, he wrote to tell her he was coming home on leave before his next assignment.  She was "NOT a happy camper".  Nevertheless, Karl continued to pursue her, planning something for them to do almost every day during his five week leave, including visiting family, attending church services, and spending time with friends.  He even came to eat at her house one day so he "could see if she could cook".  They went on many walks in the woods too, which was a new experience for her "being a flat-land muck girl".  During one of their walks, Karl brought her a piece of his mother's fried venison to try, but she wasn't very impressed. 


During a welcome home gathering at his parents' home, Kathy found out his next assignment was going to Vietnam.  She was surprised, because, having served in Korea, a combat zone, he wouldn't have been asked to go to Vietnam.  But, Karl was bored in the mountains and was eager to get home to see Kathy, so he volunteered to go to Vietnam so he could come home sooner.  Kathy thought he was a "stinker", because he continued to pursue when she wasn't at all interested in a commitment.


It wasn't until she was away for spring break in Florida with her family that Kathy finally signed a letter "with love".  When she returned from Florida and before he left for Vietnam, they realized they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.  Kathy says she knew he was the one because she was at ease spending time with him, could be herself with him, and shared her faith with him.  Karl knew she was the one when he realized he was able to give up some things to be with her and began to think of her desires before his own.  They decided not to make any permanent plans yet, because he "didn't know what would happen in Nam".  


When Karl left for Vietnam, they continued to write letters and counted down the days until he could return home and finish up his army commitment.  Kathy hung a toilet paper roll with numbers on it and would tear off one each day.  She graduated from college and began her first year of teaching in a 2nd-3rd grade transition class, better than her student teaching experience, but still a challenge.  


When Karl finally came home, she was waiting for him at the airport along with his family.  That weekend, they went ring shopping, but had to wait three weeks for the ring order to come in.  When the ring finally came, they told everyone their plans.  They decided they didn't want to wait any longer, because they knew they wanted to spend their lives together, so they planned a wedding eight weeks later.  Kathy enjoyed the wedding planning and eagerly awaited their wedding day.  She sewed her own wedding dress, the flower girl's dress, and the ring bearer's jacket.  Her parents supplied whatever flowers she wanted from their own greenhouse. 


They continued to take long walks through the woods as they waited for their wedding day.  Karl would often carry her on his back for long distances.  "She was lighter then," he says, to which she responds, "You were a young buck and needed the physical exertion!"  


They went house shopping and were blessed to have plenty of savings, because Karl had wisely saved most of his money he made while in the service.  The only thing he bought, besides necessities, was a stereo set in Germany for himself and china and silverware for Kathy in the orient.  They found a furnished house, put money down on it, and signed the papers two days after their wedding.  The "sweet old retired couple" who sold them the house wanted thirty days to move out, so they packed up a truck and camper and set out for Canada to spend a relaxing, pleasant honeymoon.  


Karl and Kathy's love story continued to unfold as they raised five children, fostered over 100 children, adopted 6 children, and became grandparents.  Their advice to making a marriage last a lifetime is to "just keep on keeping on one day at a time".  They have realized that commitment to their marriage means "thinking of the other one's desires...it's not 50-50, tit-for-tat, keep an even score...but 100% male, 100% female...do your part even if the other doesn't do theirs...you're not responsible for that part.  Life can't be all mountain-top; think about it, you gotta have some valleys for there to be mountain tops, maybe even some flat places."  One piece of advice they remember from their pre-marriage counseling is to not go to bed mad at each other, keep nothing between them, and to communicate. 

 

Real Life Love Story #3

My grandparents, Paul & (Valerie) Laura Klein, have been married for 62 years.  They are probably the sweetest couple I know.  They still hold hands and smile at each other from across the room.  They do everything together and they enjoy every moment together.  Their love has endured through many trials and sorrows, proving to us all that marriage can last a lifetime when you commit to loving each other day in and day out.  Here is their love story...which continues to unfold today.

 Holding Hands for a Lifetime

Paul grew up in a small town in the south eastern part of Wisconsin.  After graduating from high school in 1941, he enrolled at Marquette University and graduated in 1944 with an engineering degree.  He began working at Kimberly Clark and a year later was transferred to northern Wisconsin to a little town called Niagara.  The chief engineer knew he was single and said, "You can find a nice wife there." 


Laura grew up in the northern woods of Wisconsin in a little town called Niagara.  She loved the freedom of walking in the woods and enjoyed ice skating and skiing.  She had several jobs after high school including writing weddings stories for the Iron Mountain News, working in Adolph Burr's electrical sales store, and discussing women's activities in her own radio program for a local radio station.  She also babysat for the supervisor of the Kimberly Clark mill in Niagara.


One day, Paul's supervisor suggested he meet a fine young lady, Laura Outcelt.  At the village clubhouse, they finally met each other.  They began to spend time together talking and sharing about their lives over malted milks.  They also shared a love for God and their church.  


Since Laura loved exploring the big woods, Paul decided to equip himself with ice skates, skis, and other northern equipment.  Laura shared her love of the big woods with him and he enjoyed many new experiences with her.  They went ice skating at the local ice rink, participated in an ice skating show, skied down Pine Mountain, and watched the annual ski jumping meet.  Paul even learned to eat pasties, an Iron Mountain specialty. 


Paul enjoyed feeling a part of her family, since his family was 300 some miles away and he knew she was the one almost immediately.  Laura knew he was the one when she saw how thoughtful and courteous he was and "how quickly he forgot our disagreements".  


On a quiet walk in the woods almost a year after their courtship began, Paul asked Laura to be his wife.  They were married in August of 1948.  They were overjoyed to welcome their first child, Paula, soon after, but were heartbroken when she passed away only a few short weeks after her birth.  They endured this sorrow together and determined to keep their marriage strong.  They had nine more children, welcomed many new children through marriage, rejoiced in becoming grandparents and great grandparents, cried through the pain of more losses...but, through it all, their love grew deeper and wider.  


How did their love endure for so long and grow stronger through all the trials and sorrows they faced together?  They learned to talk, instead of quietly getting mad.  They learned to do things together, even if it wasn't something one or the other enjoys.  They made it a practice to hold hands and always made sure to be thoughtful and courteous to each other.  Before they go to bed each night, they remember to say, "I'm sorry for my impatience or other problems that come up".  Laura says, "We are each unique human beings created by God and each of us has been blessed with unique talents that are not the same.  So there will always be various ways of looking at things in our family life."  Most importantly, they have chosen to love each other, no matter what, because they know it is worth it. 

Real Life Love Story #2, Part 1

My parents have been married for 28 years.  It has always been a blessing to know they are committed to each other and are not afraid to show us how much they love each other.  I never doubted my parents would stick together, because their actions spoke volumes to me about how important their marriage was to them.  I asked them each to share their love story.  I'm going to share it in two parts, because they each wrote their own version of their story.  

***

His Story

When did you first meet her and what was your first impression of her?

My sister Mary brought her home to visit our family and introduced me to her.  I thought she was pretty and also quite talkative (just like my sister Mary).  But I was painfully shy, so I didn’t stick around to talk much to her.  So I doubt that I made much of an impression on her at first!  


How long was your dating/courtship?  What kind of things did you do together?

I’m sure Mary will know this for certain, but it’s just a guess for me.  I’m guessing it was over a year of going out together before we started to talk about our future together.  And then it was only a year or so after that before we got married.  I always hung around with a group of high school buddies, and they liked to go to Appleton night clubs (because Hilbert was boring and there weren’t many girls there).  Mary and I managed to be at a few of those together, but didn’t do a lot together socially at first (mostly because I didn’t have a car license).  Once I graduated college, got a job, and got a car we started to see more of each other.  But it was mostly hanging out at bars and bowling alleys (social stuff with my group of buddies) and also family gatherings.  The best times were when we got quiet time to talk to each other, like when we would go visit her aunt & uncle in Iron Mountain; they have great hiking trails around their lake cottage.  You have to know that back in that time there were no cell phones or internet, so connecting was left to either the regular telephone or letters in the mail.  I enjoy writing, and I don’t like talking on the telephone.  So my favorite method of communicating was letters.  But Mary liked to use the phone, so we had many long conversations.


When did you know she was THE one? 

I have always said that I knew from the first time I met her that she was someone special.  And it is the truth; I knew pretty soon after we started dating that she was the one for me.  Even after we first met I couldn’t get her off my mind, although I was too shy to bring up the subject much – and God forbid even pick up the phone and call her!  Thank God that sister Mary pushed the envelope – introducing us at my sister Cindy’s wedding and then leaving me there to talk with her all by myself.  But it was easy to talk to her, and I got the sense that she actually liked to talk to me, too.  


How did you propose? 

We were on a long walk around the lake cabin in Iron Mountain.  I don’t recall if it was actually a real proposal, or if we just mutually decided that we should take the next step in our relationship.  I just remember that we were on the same wave length, and it just seemed like the right time and right place to ask each other if we should make a commitment to marriage.  I was always the one who was sure about her from the start, and I had to convince her that we were right for each other.  We had a lot of conversations around that subject before our walkabout in Iron Mountain, so I don’t think she was surprised that I asked for her commitment then.  I won’t say that it was a surprise to me when she said “yes”, but it was for sure one of the best moments of my life!


What kind of advice would you like to share with others about making a marriage that lasts a lifetime? 

Make time with each other; commit to spending time together outside of the hustle & bustle of everyday life.  Sometimes it takes extra effort to do that, just because our work lives consume so much of our days.  But we have to make that effort.  Of course, it helps that we have many mutual interests, and we have quite a few things that we both like to do.  We both like spending time together watching our favorite TV shows, going to movies, going to sporting events (especially Timber Rattler and Packer games), going out to eat, going on walks, bike rides, swimming, family events, playing board games, going on annual family vacations; and I’m sure I’m forgetting a few others.  The point is, if you really love each other you will want to spend time together – and we do.   

Real Life Love Story #1

Two Voices Intertwined

Lorraine and her good friend decided to join their church choir.  Little did Lorraine know her love story was about to begin.  As she took her place to sing, she noticed a handsome young man standing behind her.  As the music started, she heard his rich voice intertwined with hers.  She didn't think much of it at first, because she already had a beau.  That was, until he started talking with her.  She soon broke it off with her former beau and begin to realize what a gentleman this handsome young man was.  

Another friend asked Lorraine to join her as company at a wedding.  Standing beside the groom was that handsome young man whose rich voice intertwined with hers during church choir.  He asked Lorraine to dance with him.  As they danced, their love story began to unfold.  He took her home from that dance and it wasn't long before they were courting.  His name was Al.  

After a month of courting, Al told her that he loved her and she told him she loved him.  They knew this was their love story.  For the next year, they enjoyed going out to movies, bowling with friends, and continuing to sing in that church choir where they first met.  On Lorraine's 18th birthday, Al asked her if she would be his wife.  In his hand, he held a beautiful diamond ring and she knew without a doubt she wanted to spend her life with him.  A year later, they were married in that same church where they first met while singing in the church choir.  

Their love story continued as they raised a family of six girls and two boys.  Their children grew and had families of their own, blessing them with 23 grandchildren and 15 great grandchildren.  Each Christmas, their family would gather around the piano and sing.  Al's rich voice gave them all a sense of security that only comes in a home built on a love that lasts a lifetime.  

Al and Lorraine are my dad's parents who have shown us a beautiful picture of what a lasting marriage is.  They have been married for over 50 years.  My grandma's best advice is, "to never go to bed at night without saying I love you and asking God to bless us and help us through all the good and bad times. It wasn't always all sweet and happy days but we made the best of them and always made up after an argument, sometimes it was a few days before we made up, but then it was good again."  Thank you, Grandpa & Grandma, for sharing your love story and for setting a beautiful example for us.  

Love That Lasts A Lifetime

Love is a choice.  Every moment of every day, we choose whether or not to love our spouse.  As Gary Chapman writes in his book The Five Love Languages, "That's what makes it meaningful.  To know that my spouse loves me enough to respond to one of my requests communicates emotionally that she cares about me, respects me, admires me, and wants to do something to please me.  We cannot get emotional love by way of demand." 

Love is not always an easy choice though.  The demands and stresses of every day life can wear us down to the point where we're not so sure if love is worth it anymore.  Is it worth it to choose to love my husband, when we barely have enough time to spend with each other?  Is it worth it to choose to love my husband, when he is too busy with his own responsibilities to pay attention to me?  Is it worth it to choose to love my husband, when he just doesn't seem to understand me at all? 

When I was younger, the word "divorce" was a dirty word.  It was something you didn't talk about.  Today, the word "divorce" is as almost more common than the word "marriage".  According to DivorceRate.org, the rate of divorce (for first marriages) is 50%.  As a result, many young couples decide to move in together before they are married, because if it doesn't work out, they can always leave. 

Yet, in the beginning of creation, God created male and female that the man should not be alone (Genesis 2:18) and that the two shall become one (Mark 10:8).  God created marriage as a beautiful union of two people...but those two people are two very different people.  Sometimes I wonder how my husband and I could possibly be any more different.  But that's the way God created us to be...and the beauty of a real lasting marriage is when the the two different people become one.  It isn't easy, but it is worth it. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not quickly broken."


That "threefold cord" is the most important part of a lasting marriage.  A marriage without love is nothing, right?  So is a marriage without God, because God is love.  There is a saying that "Couples who pray together, stay together".  In the first year of our marriage, Ted and I prayed together most nights.  We even spent time reading our bible together.  It was such a sweet time, because we were able to talk about what God was teaching us and it helped bond us together as a couple.  When our children came along, it became harder to find time for that, because we are both so tired by the end of the day.  But, it is SO important to spend time together with Him. 

This week, I wanted to share some Real Life Love Stories, because I think it is so important to have examples of long lasting marriages to remind us that it is possible and it is worth it.  Plus, I have learned such valuable advice from couples I know who've been married for a long time.  I encourage you to join me this week in reading these Real Life Love Stories - it will be well worth your time.