{Truth Reminders} Whose I Am #6

photo credit: Katrina

I Am... 

Beautiful

"Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 

(1 Peter 3:3-4)

It's taken me a long time to be confident in the physical body God has given me.  I have struggled with my weight and the imperfect flaws of this earthly body of mine, but now, as I watch my daughter grow, I want to know and believe the truth about beauty so I can teach her.  The problem isn't the way I look, but the way my heart understands beauty.  

My husband and I have had numerous discussions about what it means to dress modestly and how to make the right choices about fashion, makeup, and hair as we raise our daughter.  The trouble with making these decisions as a parent is making sure we are not simply making rules for our daughter to follow.  If all our emphasis in parenting is on outward obedience, we are simply teaching her to be a Pharisee, putting on an appearance of righteousness, when inwardly she is full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. 

Outward obedience still has its place, but our obedience needs to flow from a heart that delights in Him and in His law.  For, when all outward appearances fade away, what is left?  It will either be a cold and sin-filled heart or a heart after His own heart.

This is where we can begin to understand true beauty, because, as 1 Peter says, beauty comes from the inner self.  Beauty that doesn't fade away when our earthly flesh returns to dust is of greater worth in His eyes than a perfectly adorned appearance.  And what is that beauty?  Unfading beauty comes from a meek and quiet spirit void of passion, pride, or immoderate anger.  And, as Proverbs 31:30 says, the fear of the Lord is more precious than outward charm or beauty.

The mention of braided hair, gold jewelry, and fine clothes in 1 Peter is often misunderstood or simply looked over.  It's important to understand the context in order to know exactly what Peter meant when he wrote these words.  Matthew Henry's commentary explains that braided or pleated hair was worn by lewd women and gold jewelry were the chief attire of harlots.  He goes on to explain that when you are proud or 'puffed up', dressing with the sole purpose of alluring or tempting others, imitating both the levity and vanity of the worst people you become like them.  "The attire of a harlot can never become a chaste Christian matron" (Matthew Henry). 

So, the verse from 1 Peter 3 calls us to put on a more excellent adornment, a soul that is both beautiful and lovely because it has been changed by Him.  I love the words of Isaiah 61:10 - "I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful head dress and a bride adorns herself with jewels."  Beauty is not about appearances; it's about the heart, and a heart that has been changed by the blood of Christ is the most beautiful of all. 

***

Join me tomorrow as I continue this discussion about beauty and obedience with a post I've been contemplating today via Facebook about what we wear to church.  There's been a great discussion over at my personal facebook page, but you can join in by adding your thoughts on my blog facebook page.  I'm looking forward to collaborating these thoughts and processing it all to share in a blog post here. 

 

{Truth Reminders} Whose I Am #5

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I Am... 

Satisfied

"For he satisfies the longing soul,

and the hungry soul he fills with good things."

(Psalm 107:9) 

***

I began digging into this Truth weeks ago, but there's a reason it has taken me so long to post it.  Besides the simple busy-ness of summer and raising little ones, I needed to sit and soak up this Truth before my heart could get it and my soul could believe it.  Some Truths just take longer to penetrate the lies and doubts fighting to overpower all my thoughts. 

So, I waited and I wondered and I wrestled.  I know what His Words say about being satisfied in Him, but how do I claim it and really believe it with all my heart and mind and soul?  My thoughts were at war within as I made the drive to a sweet friend's house and a gathering of creative souls. 

I tried to quiet the storm with music, but I couldn't find the rhythm and lyrics I needed no matter how many times I scanned and flipped through station after station.  I prayed for peace, but somehow, the quiet solitude just felt too loud.  It wasn't until I stepped out of my car and into her home that I could finally breath it all out...and find the renewal I so desperately needed.

I can't wait to write more, because the words flowed out of my heart in such a soul detoxing frenzy this weekend and it is nothing short of amazing.  But, for today, I want to dig into what it really means to be satisfied, because I can finally say with confidence that it is well with my soul and it's all because of Him. 

***

It's easy to look around at the mess of laundry, dishes, and toys scattered about the two bedroom home we are outgrowing and become dissatisfied with it all.  I long for the energy and time and motivation to do it all...and for our dream house with four bedrooms and plenty of room for our family to grow and to welcome friends and family to be our guests.  I compare and contrast and somehow I always seem to fall short. 

Why can't I be satisfied with the gifts and blessings I have that are already far more than I deserve?  The answer, obviously, lies in the words of Psalm 107, but sometimes the obvious is the hardest Truth to claim.  He alone satisfies the longing soul, but far too often I look in all the wrong places, leaving me more and more disappointed and discontent. 

"Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food."

Isaiah 55:2

Taste and see that He is good, because He is, He was, and He always will be good.  The more I dig into His Truth and fill my heart with His rich food that delights and nourishes, the more I know and believe I desperately need Him and the more I find that He supplies every single one of my needs...and so much more.  I love what Charles Spurgeon says of this:

"Come, then, brethren, and look down into this great gulf of need, and exultingly say, 'O Lord, we thank thee that our needs are great, for there is more room for thy love, thy tenderness, thy power, thy faithfulness, to fill the chasm."

He will satisfy all our soul's desires, but only when we go to Him, running head first into arms of love waiting to embrace us right where we are.  No matter what your struggle, no matter what your circumstances, no matter how far you've strayed, no matter how much you doubt...He is calling your name, tenderly and faithfully ready to fill you to overflowing...if only you will go to Him.  

 Join me on Mondays on a journey to discover and take hold of the truth of who we are in Him. 

 

{Truth Reminders} Whose I Am #4

I Am... 

Free 

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"For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death."

(Romans 8:2) 

"For freedom Christ has set you free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."

(Galatians 5:1)

We are in the process of trying to sell our house and Sunday morning we had another open house.  Last week I was really struggling.  I was tired from being up all night far too often with a teething baby and just feeling worn out and defeated.  I struggled to find the motivation to keep up with the every day things like laundry and dishes and cleaning up mess after mess after mess...when all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and sleep for eight hours straight without interruption.  By Thursday night, I begged my husband to stay home in the evening instead of go on his daily training bike ride.

I cried as he held me until the words came and one word summed it all up - I wondered how I could ever be good enough.  I told him about all the times just that day that I had fallen short, losing my temper, lacking patience, speaking words that hurt instead of encouraged.  He looked me in the eyes and said, "you are a good mom".  Before I could argue, he reminded me of all the things I've done right and, most importantly, of the One who gives me sufficient grace and strength for every one of the times I fail and how His mercies are new every single morning. 

Twice more this weekend, completely out of the blue, two more people spoke those same words to me - "you are such a good mom, Steph".  Today, as I opened up His words and prayed for Him to speak to my heart and show me who He says I am in Him, I thought of those words and wondered if I could really believe them.  I know far better than even my husband does how many times I fail as a mom and I am my own worst critic.  But, as I read these words from Romans and Galatians, I was reminded that what He did on the cross freed me from the bondage of every single one of my sins.  Yes, I am still living in the flesh and my flesh is sinful, but in Him that sin nature is powerless to defeat me, because He gives power to overcome and He set me free to walk in freedom.  

One commentary I read put it this way: "The law of sin and death was a strong and seemingly absolute law.  Every sin we commit and every cemetery we see proves it. But the law of the Spirit of life in Christ is stronger still..."  I know I am not perfect and I never will be as long as I walk in this body of sin, but I do know the One who calls me to freedom and whose strength is enough to overcome any sin that still holds me in bondage.

The reality is that those chains I still walk around carrying are no longer locked secure and tight, but my "old master" wants me to believe that I am still a slave.  John 8:36 says that "if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."  It doesn't say, "He sets you free...except for that one sin you can never overcome."  No, His truth sets you free once and for all and His grace covers it all.  

So, instead of believing the lie that I will never be a good enough mom, I am holding on to the truth today that His grace is sufficient and that He has called me to stand firm in the freedom He has called me to.  Freedom was bought with a great price, but how often do I take that for granted?  Every time I "submit again to a yoke of slavery", struggling to free myself, I only become more entangled in the very sin I am set free from by His great sacrifice.  I will never be a perfect mom, but I can be a good mom, by the grace of God and in the strength and power of His freedom - and that truth is more than enough. 

Join me on Mondays on a journey to discover and take hold of the truth of who we are in Him. 


 

{Truth Reminders} Whose I Am #3

I Am...

Loved

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Thus says, the Lord: "The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the LORD appeared to him from far away. 

I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."

(Jeremiah 31:2-3) 

When my husband and I began dating, I had only recently been heartbroken by a long relationship.  I had often watched my friends in middle school and high school pairing off and wondered when it would be my turn.  I had even wondered if I would ever be loved...or if I was simply unlovable or unworthy of love.  But my senior year of high school I met a boy who held my heart for the next three and a half years. 

Every time he whispered "I love you", I imagined our happily ever after and was convinced that he was the one.  We had even begun talking about getting married...until the day he broke my heart.  I spent that summer before my senior year of college completely and totally devastated, feeling lost and alone and vulnerable...wondering what love was if it only left me empty and broken.

I learned that summer to cling to Christ, remembering that His love was the only love that never failed and falling in love with Him through His words and the prayers and encouragement of some dear friends.  I began to let go of my carefully laid out plans to lean on Him and trust in His good and perfect plans for my life. 

And then I met the man who would become my husband.  I began to fall in love again, but I also wanted desperately to guard my heart, afraid I would be let down once again.  I wondered what a love that lasts til death do us part was really like...and if I was really worth that kind of love.  I would pull him in...only to push him away as the fear of a still wounded heart threatened to take over. 

We had been dating a year when he told me he didn't love me.  I was furious...mostly because it was my biggest fear: that I would never be loved.  Once I let my emotions cool down and prayed for God's wisdom and guidance, I listened as he explained that love was a choice to put the other person first and to be willing to love like Christ loved the church.  He knew that love was not some fairy tale happily ever after, but a deep and abiding commitment.  And he wanted to be sure he was ready to make that choice before he spoke those three words to me.

But, the thing is...even the deep and abiding commitment of marriage is not perfect and it will never fully satisfy our deepest longing to be loved.  We both have our faults and drive each other crazy.  We fight and argue and let each other down.  No matter how hard we each try, we cannot offer each other the kind of love our souls crave.  That kind of love - a love that is unfailing and steadfast - can only come from God, because He is the only one who will never disappoint and never let go. 

Jeremiah 31:2-3 was written for the people of Israel who had endured the "sword" of Pharaoh as he cut off all male children at birth and threatened to cut them off at the Red Sea.  They had wandered in the wilderness and in a strange land.  Yet, through all these hardships and no matter how many times Israel turned its back on God, He did not give up or forget them.  Matthew Henry says that God showed them "His peculiar favor" in a love that is steadfast and enduring. 

The same promise is ours through Christ.  No matter how many storms we endure or how often we too wander in the wilderness, His love remains.  His love is not only an ancient love, spoken to the Jews as His chosen people, but an everlasting love that is constant and never changes.  Charles Spurgeon explains this love so beautifully, when he writes about the confidence had by great men and women of faith:

"They did not speak of Christ's love as though it were a myth to be respected, a tradition to be revered; they viewed it as a blessed reality, and they cast their whole confidence in it, being persuaded that it would bear them up as upon eagle's wings and carry them all their days; resting assured that it would be to them a foundation of rock, against which the waves might beat, and the winds blow, but their soul's habitation would stand securely if founded upon it."

Romans 8:38-39 further explains that there really is nothing, not even death, that can separate us from His love.  Why?  Because Christ is the ground of the steadfastness of His love and He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  He is both unchanging and unfailing.  

Another commentary shared the story of Mr. Hugh Kennedy, a respected and revered Christian man who, on his death bed, called for a bible to be opened to these words from Romans 8:38 - "I am persuaded that neither death nor life".  He held his finger pointed at these words and told his children, just before breathing his last, 

"Now, God be with you, my children; I have breakfasted with you and shall sup with my Lord Jesus Christ this night."  

Behold, what manner of love is this, to claim His love for us with such confidence!  That is what it means to be really, truly, and completely loved. 

Join me on Mondays on a journey to discover and take hold of the truth of who we are in Him.

 

{Truth Reminders} Whose I Am #2

 I Am...

Approved

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"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? 

Or am I trying to please man? 

If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

(Galatians 1:10)

I am a recovering people-pleaser.  I have spent far too much time and energy seeking the favor and acceptance of others, often at the sake of my own sanity.  I have pursued friendships that were unhealthy, ignoring the warning signs, forgetting with every misstep and fall that Whose I am is far more important that what any one person says or even thinks of me. 

It's a lie I've had to fight over and over, keeping a firm grip on the sword of truth and clinging to His promises every step of the battle.  The desire to be loved and accepted was placed in man from the beginning, but it can only be fully satisfied in the One who gave us this desire.  Galatians 1:10 says that we have a choice to seek either the approval of man or God.  But only when we choose to delight in Him can we expect joy and peace in abundance.  We can exhaust our all trying to seek the approval of man only to be disappointed time and time again. 

But in Christ, we are wholly accepted, approved, and justified.  The word approved in Galatians 1:10 also means allowed, examined, tried, deemed worthy.  Oh, how often I have wondered if I can ever be a "good enough" mom, wife, friend, daughter.  And the truth is that I'm not "good enough"...standing alone on my own righteousness.  But when I claim His gift so freely offered in Christ, I can be deemed worthy.  Not on my own righteousness, but standing on the promises of Christ my King, I am enough.

Matthew Henry's commentary explained it this way: "No man can serve two masters so we dare not gratify men at the expense of faithfulness to Christ."  While the truth that I am wholly accepted in Christ is beautifully freeing, it is also convicting and humbling to remember that when I continue to worry about what other people think of me I am making a choice to follow the world instead of Christ.   When I continually seek the approval of man, even when I know how wrong it is, I am both denying His favor and forfeiting His promises.

In Christ, we are set free from the bondage of sin...so why would we choose to continue walking in bondage?  "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)  Each day I must make a choice: to walk in bondage or embrace His freedom.  But even as I make that choice, Satan desires to make a stumbling block, to hinder me from obtaining the prize He has set before me.  So, I must press on, fleeing the lies and bondage of sin and running swiftly forward to make His promises my own because He has already made me His own (Phil 3:12). 

Join me on Mondays on a journey to discover and take hold of the truth of who we are in Him.

{Truth Reminders} Whose I Am #1

I Am...

His Workmanship

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 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, 

which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

(Ephesians 2:10)

***

Introduction

When I look into the mirror, it's easy to see all my flaws - the wrinkles on my forehead, the freckles from even a little bit of sun exposure, the one eyelid that droops whenever my eyes are open, the birthmark still occasionally noticeable on the side of my face, the discolored teeth from years of dental work.  I frown at my flawed appearance and new wrinkles appear around my eyes, soon to be permanently etched on my face if I continue to see myself with eyes of flesh...instead of the eyes of faith in the One who fearfully and wonderfully made me with a beautiful purpose in mind. 

But, how do I see myself as He does...unless my eyes are fixed on the truths He mirrored with His life and wrote down on the pages of the bible collecting dust on my nightstand?

Today, I'm beginning a journey to claim for myself the truths He has written for me of who I am in Him.  Because, the only way to concur the lies the mirror on the wall exposes is to take hold of His words and whisper them over and over until they are permanently etched on my heart.  Won't you join me...to know and believe the truths He has written for you?

***

Whose I Am #1: His Workmanship

I remember sitting in the hard wooden chairs of a college classroom listening to my philosophy professor leading a discussion about the basic human questions we all have.  The question "Who am I?" rattled around in my mind long after the class discussion had commenced and I began to wonder how I could really know the answer to that question beyond mere musings and wanderings of my own mind.  I wrote down my answer to the best of my ability to pass the class...but how do I find and claim the real answer that matters for all eternity?

I lift my eyes up to the only One who really knows all the answers and listen for His still, small voice to calm the storm of wondering in my mind and heal the broken pieces of lies I've believed about myself for far too long.  He leads me to His words, right in the middle of a book He used in the midst of my college days to grow me and change me into the new creation He meant me to be.  I can still picture my friend, Regan, speaking these words from memory, verse after verse, with such passion and emotion.  I had never before heard His words spoken so beautifully and tenderly.  As I listened, I was filled with a deep longing for more and God satisfied my desire with bold preaching and wise teaching week after week. 

Years later, I need to return to those truths, to take hold of who He says I am, once and for all.  And so, I read the words of Ephesians 2:10 and remember that He desires not only to save me from sin but to make something beautiful in me.  The word "workmanship" here is the Greek word, "poiema", meaning a work of art of a beautiful poem.  God desires to take me just as I am, broken pieces and all, and create a beautiful work of art in my life...not because I am good or even worth it, but because He loves and He gives freely and without conditions.  

I love how David Guzik's commentary explains this truth:

"God's love is a transforming love.  It meets us right where we are at, but when we receive this love it always takes us where we should be going.  The love of God that saves my soul will also change my life."

His love captivates and frees, creating beauty out of my mess, because even before His hands carefully crafted me in the secret of my mother's womb, He knew what He wanted to accomplish in me.  No matter how much I fall short and wander away, He can and will take my life and make me new.

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

"for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." (Philippians 2:13)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."  (2 Corinthians 5:17)

***

You're Invited!

Join me on Mondays on a journey to discover and take hold of the truth of who we are in Him. 

 

Pursued With A Relentless Love

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Last week was rough, which is, in fact, the understatement of the year.  My husband was away on a business trip from Sunday through Friday, which is not a normal occurrence.  I packed the van with everything but the kitchen sink for a week at my parent's house, because there was no way I was single-parenting three kids on my own. 

The first night, I wrestled two over-tired kids into bed one-handed while bouncing the littlest one on my knee lest his own tired whimpers become full on screams.  My husband called in the middle of the bed time routine and I made the mistake of putting him on speaker phone so the kids could hear his voice.  After the phone call was finished, I tucked them in, kissed them good night, and curled up on the living room couch to nurse a now over-tired baby.  Not even five minutes later, I heard crying for daddy from our three year old and a distressed four year old begging mommy to help her sad little brother.  

That was just the beginning of a week spent drying tears, breaking up fights, dealing with epic temper tantrums, and disciplining one disobedient act after another all while running on constant doses of coffee to keep my sleep deprived self from falling asleep standing up.  By the end of the week, I felt like a complete and total failure.  All three kids finally fell asleep within minutes of the drive home on Friday, while I fought to keep my own eyes open and counted down the hours until I could collapse into the arms of my husband.  

Once he was home, I couldn't seem to put into words just how hard the week had been.  I wanted to forget it all and simply relish in the joy that he was home, but I couldn't shake the feelings of failure.  I finally sat in his arms Sunday night and whispered, "I just felt like no matter how hard I tried all week, I just wasn't good enough."  Plain and simple - the kids wanted their daddy and, as much as they loved me, and as hard as I tried to meet their needs, I couldn't fill their need for daddy. 

As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized that this is exactly how I feel a lot in my relationship with Him.  No matter how many times I read His words and soak up His truths, I always seem to struggle with being good enough.  It was in voicing this fear out loud that I realized - I won't ever be good enough...and that's the point.  

Why can't I seem to grasp how deep and wide is His grace?  It's that lie I've believed for far too long - that somehow I have to earn His favor, to do enough or be good enough.  But the truth is, I can never earn His favor, no matter how long or how hard I try.  Grace is simply this: a gift of undeserved favor freely given.

"For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. 

For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." 

(John 1:16-17)

I call myself Girl of Grace, but too often I struggle to fully embrace the fullness of His grace.  But, maybe that's the point too.  Because when I come to the end of myself, exhausting all my efforts, leaving me completely empty...I can finally surrender and grab hold of His grace that is all sufficient and more than enough.  For when I am weak, He is strong.  

Yesterday, as I studied the day's passage from my study of Luke with Good Morning Girls, I was struck by how relentlessly God pursues even one lost sheep.  There may be ninety-nine sheep safely grazing in green pastures, but He will seek and find that one lost sheep no matter how long it takes or how hard it is to find it.  And again, this morning, as I read the story of the lost coins, I was reminded that, as Matthew Henry says, the lost coin had little value as does one sinful man...and yet, God still pursues that one lost "coin" and rejoices when it is found.  

"But the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, 
His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; 
and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination 
that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him." 

(C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

Perhaps C.S. Lewis explains this mystery of grace even better when he says how God is quite relentless in His pursuit of us, "at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him".  And that cost?  It was death on a cross, a death that was meant for sinful man but bore on the shoulders of the only sinless "man", who was really God in the flesh.  For, even while we were yet sinners, He died for us.  That picture of grace...the fact that, even though we reject Him and even run the other way, He still chose to give Himself as a sacrifice once and for all.  He saw everyone of my faults, every time I stray, every way I fall short...and He still loved me and chose to pursue me with such a beautiful, relentless love. 

As I continue to process the truth and magnitude of His most precious gift of grace, I've been challenged that instead of looking at all the ways I fall short and focusing on how not good enough I am, I need to instead fix my eyes on Him, the author and perfecter of my faith.  I want to grab hold and embrace all His promises, to see who I am in Him instead of who I am in the flesh.  And so, I am going to begin a series of posts here on Monday mornings called {Truth Reminders} Whose I Am where I will write through the process of uncovering and claiming the truths of who I am in Him.  Will you join me?  

 

{Broken & Mended} Truth Reminders: Psalm 34:18

photo credit: SodanieChea


"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted 

and saves the crushed in spirit."

(Psalm 34:18)

I remember too well the hopelessness and weariness I felt in the midst of my postpartum depression.  It took all my energy just to get out of bed and, by the time my husband came home from work at the end of the day, I had nothing left to give.  I would collapse on the couch in tears, broken and crushed, feeling completely and totally defeated.

When I opened my computer yesterday, I felt the same brokenhearted, hopeless feeling as I read the news from Boston and thought of the numerous tragedies our country has endured in the past few years alone.  I couldn't help thinking, "where are you, Lord?".

But I was reminded, in the same way God spoke to me in the darkness of depression, that even when I don't understand and even when it seems hopeless, He is still near and He is still Savior.  

God never promises that there won't be trouble in this world, but He does promise to be near.  The word near here is defined in Strong's Concordance as "intimate acquaintance...familiar to us...daily in our mouths".  In Christ, we can boldly come to the throne of the One who is above all and know Him as one who is near.

Jeremiah 23:23-24 says: 

"Am I a God at hand, declares the LORD, and not a God far away? Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the LORD. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the LORD."  

What a comfort to know that He is not a God far away, but a God at hand, nearer even in our darkest hours!

***

 This blog post is part of a series of posts I will be sharing on Sundays (or Mondays...or Tuesdays...when I need to give myself grace on a busy weekend) during Session 2 of (in)courager community groups to encourage the women I am honored to be ministering to and leading in the Broken & Mended: Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression group.  Each week will include a Truth Reminder from His words that gives hope of healing and mending in the midst of postpartum depression.


 

{Broken & Mended} Truth Reminders: Philippians 4:6-7

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"Do not be anxious about anything, 

but in every situation, by prayer and petition, 

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, 

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  

(Philippians 4:6-7)

One of the commentaries I read said this of worrying or being anxious: "As long as He is on the throne, I do not need to worry." I love the words and the truth here, but, to be honest, there are so many times when it is easier said than done.  For someone who struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety, I remember reading these verses over and over and feeling worse every time, because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to put it into practice. 

I believe there is a difference between the anxiety spoken of here, which is the every day worry about tomorrow, and the anxiety I was diagnosed with that day I finally sought out the help I needed.  That kind of anxiety is all consuming and overwhelming.  It is not something I could simply get over or pull myself out of, no matter how hard I prayed or cried out to Him.  But I also believe there is freedom from both kinds of anxiety in the One who breathed these words onto paper through the hands of His faithful servant, Paul.  

The word "anxious" means to be troubled or full of care.  The word used in these verses in Philippians is the same word translated as worry in Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  It is, as Matthew Henry says, "anxious care and distracting thought in the wants and difficulties of life".  That kind of anxiety is sin, because it is saying that God is not enough.  Another commentary says simply, "Undue care is an intrusion into God’s arena."  If we truly believe Him at His word, we will see the wants and difficulties of life, but rest in the Truth that He already knows all of our tomorrows and is good and sovereign in all things and in all ways.

But the anxiety that "is characterized by excessive, exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events with no obvious reasons for worry" is an illness.  My counselor calls this "catastrophizing", because when my anxiety was at its worst, my mind could create worry out of nothing and catapult that worry to an all consuming fear that some horrible tragedy was imminent.  For me, medication helped clear my mind enough that I could begin to process and work through my anxiety, learning tools to both prevent and stop the anxious thoughts from controlling me.  But, more importantly, healing was found when I began to lay it all at His feet, knowing that I could not do this alone and that I desperately needed Him.

I had Philippians 4:6-7 written on a note card and underlined in my bible during those dark days of PPD.  The beautiful hope of verse 7 was where I rested my weary head night after night and is the truth I continue to cling to day after day.  He wants us to cast all our cares on Him, knowing that He cares for us...but, even more, He offers us peace that surpasses understanding when we truly rest in Him.  This peace is found even in the most turbulent storms and most difficult trials of life, because it is a peace that can only come from Him.  David Guzik's commentary explains this kind of peace as "beyond 'all mind'...beyond our power of thinking".  It is not a peace that can be found in any thing or any one on this earth.  It is the peace of which John 14:27 says, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."  As long as I live, I will never fully comprehend this kind of peace...nor will I ever be able to fully thank Him for graciously giving it to me.

The final truth reminder given in these verses is my favorite: that His peace will "guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".  Matthew Henry explains that God's peace "will keep us from sinning under our troubles, and from sinking under them; keep us calm and sedate, without discomposure of passion, and with inward satisfaction".  I know I am human and I know that no matter how hard I try to do right, I still fail and fall so far short.  These words offer me so much hope, because it is a reminder that while I cannot overcome my worries and anxieties on my own, He can.  And so, just as Isaiah 26:3 says, when I keep my eyes stayed on Him and rest in His unfailing love and mercy, He will guard my heart and mind with perfect peace.  What a beautiful truth!

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 This blog post is part of a series of posts I will be sharing on Sundays (or Mondays when I need to give myself grace on a busy weekend) during Session 2 of (in)courager community groups to encourage the women I am honored to be ministering to and leading in the Broken & Mended: Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression group.  Each week will include a Truth Reminder from His words that gives hope of healing and mending in the midst of postpartum depression.

 

{Broken & Mended} Truth Reminder: Isaiah 40:31

“But those who wait on the LORD 

Shall renew their strength; 

They shall mount up with wings like eagles, 

They shall run and not be weary, 

They shall walk and not faint.” 

(Isaiah 40:31)

I've heard this verse so many times, but often wondered what it really means to mount or soar like eagles.  Eagles have a very large wing span, so it takes a lot of energy to flap their wings.  According to scientists, Gerrard and Bortolotti, "The energy needed to maintain a bird in flat soaring or gliding flight is much less, perhaps a 20th or less the power needed for flapping.  Therefore, eagles will always choose to soar or glide when possible."  So, instead of trying to fly by its own strength or energy, an eagle uses the wind or air to soar.  In the same way, when we rest or wait on the Lord, we are using His strength to soar. 

I just love the image the eagle creates in this verse, because I know how often, like the eagle, it just takes too much energy to try to flap my own wings.  But, where an eagle will always choose to soar, too often I refuse, instead trying to use up my own energy, which is far less than what I need to really soar through life's trials and storms.  Matthew Henry says, "To those who are sensible of their weakness, and ready to acknowledge they have no might, God does in a special manner increase strength; for, when we are weak in ourselves, then are we strong in the Lord."  When I acknowledge my weaknesses, that is when I see just how strong He is and when I too can mount up with wings like eagles. 

It never ceases to amaze me how God reveals truths like this just when I need them.  It was three years ago, on the Monday before Easter, that my grandfather was taken by ambulance and the week that followed began the hardest journey of grief I've ever had to walk.  The one thing that carried me through that week and the flood of grief that continues to catch me off guard is the hope I have in truth reminders like this.  I know that His grace really is sufficient and that His power is made perfect in my weaknesses.  I will rejoice then, even in my weakness, for I know, as Isaiah 40:28 says, He is the everlasting God who does not faint or grow weary and that strength is mine by the blood of the lamb. 

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This blog post is part of a series of posts I will be sharing on Sundays during Session 2 of (in)courager community groups to encourage the women I am honored to be ministering to and leading in the Broken & Mended: Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression group.  Each week will include a Truth Reminder from His words that gives hope of healing and mending in the midst of postpartum depression.

 

{Broken & Mended} Truth Reminders: Deuteronomy 31:6

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"Be strong and courageous.

Do not fear or be in dread of them, 

for it is the LORD your God 

who goes with you. 

He will not leave you or forsake you." 

(Deuteronomy 31:6)

The book of Deuteronomy contains the last words of Moses before his death.  He has led God's people out of Egypt, but, because of their disobedience, they have wandered in the dessert for forty years.  Moses begins his message by reminding them how God had loved and cared for them despite their disobedience.  He recounts what God has done as a testimony of His faithfulness to a new generation of people. 

Next, Moses reminds them of God's laws, lest they forget the commandments He has given them.  God wanted His people to remember to whom they belonged.  They were called to be set apart and they needed to hold onto His words as they faced the ungodliness of the land they were about to enter. 

Here, in chapter 31, Moses is concluding his message by both encouraging and warning God's people of the day's to come.  Moses would not be able to cross over into the promised land, but his last words of farewell are filled with promise as he reminds the people that, though there will be trouble to come, God is still their God. 

We too can "be strong and courageous" though storms may come, because the same God who lead His people out of Egypt, through the dessert, and into the promised land, goes with us.  I love how this verse says emphasizes that He is not just any god, but your God.  While Moses was speaking to the people God had chosen to be His, these words still hold true for us today, because, under the new covenant bought by the blood of Christ, He is also our God. 

Joshua 1:7 even adds to this phrase that the Lord your God "is with you wherever you go".  No matter what, wherever you go, whatever storm comes your way - the Lord your God is with you.  In Deuteronomy 7:18, Moses reminds God's people they need not fear because "you shall remember what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt".  To make this promise even more powerful, I replace those words with the things God has done for me.  Come what may, I will not be afraid, because look what my God has done before!

The same God who put Pharaoh to shame, who parted the Red Sea, and who provided water and manna in the middle of the dessert leading His people to the promised land even after they disobeyed time and time again is the same God who promises to never leave or forsake me.  And He is the same God who will never leave or forsake you. 

Courage means "to show oneself strong", but, in the midst of life's hardest trials, it seems impossible to be strong when we are far from it.  But, when I am weak, He is strong.  And so, though I am weak, I can show myself strong, because He is.  Only in the Lord, may it be said of me that I am strong (Isaiah 45:24).  For I can only do all things through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). 

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This blog post is part of a series of posts I will be sharing on Sundays during Session 2 of (in)courager community groups to encourage the women I am honored to be ministering to and leading in the Broken & Mended: Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression group.  Each week will include a Truth Reminder from His words that gives hope of healing and mending in the midst of postpartum depression.
 

{Broken & Mended} Truth Reminders: Psalm 39:7

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And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? 

My hope is in you. 

(Psalm 39:7)

The word "wait" here can also be translated as "hope, to look eagerly for, expect".  There are many waiting periods in life: waiting for a new baby to arrive, waiting for a new job, waiting for your wedding day, waiting for healing.  In every one of these times of waiting, it is easy to become frustrated and impatient, but, as the Psalmist reminds us in this verse, we need to fix our eyes on the one hope, the long-awaited, expectant One who will never disappoint.  When we put our hope in Him, no matter what we are waiting for in this life, He gives us the peace of trusting in a God who already knows the future and rest in the One who will lead us forward, one step at a time.

Another definition of the word "wait" here is "to be strong...for the notion of binding fast".   The idea of "binding fast" means to hold on securely to something, as with a prisoner who is bound fast so he cannot escape.  Hebrews 3:6 says, "But Christ as a son over his own house; whose house are we, if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end."  In other words, if we hold fast to the hope we have in Him, standing firm to the end, we can be secure and confident in His promises, because He is faithful and He never breaks His promises.   

Matthew Henry's commentary says, "We cannot reckon upon constant health and prosperity, nor upon comfort in any relation; for it is all as uncertain as our continuance here." Though the world will disappoint us, He will never let us down.  I love how Meredith Andrews' song "Not For A Moment"

(which literally just started playing on the radio as I was typing this) explains this:

You were reaching the storm

Walking on the water

Even when I could not see

In the middle of it all

When I thought You were a thousand miles away

Not for a moment did You forsake me

Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all You are constant

After all You only good

After all You are sovereign

Not for a moment did You forsake me

Not for a moment will You forsake me

As I struggled through the darkest days of my PPD, I held onto this verse, reminding myself that, even when it was hard to see the "end" in sight and even when I wondered if I really would ever be okay, He would be faithful to heal me.  I trusted in Him, even when it was hard, holding fast to the hope I had in Him, because I knew He would not let me down.  And now, even when the darkness threatens again, I remember all the storms He has brought me through in my life and stand firm, strong in the truth of His words and in the strength of the God who sent His son to suffer and die for me.   

*** 

 

This blog post is part of a series of posts I will be sharing on Sundays during Session 2 of (in)courager community groups to encourage the women I am honored to be ministering to and leading in the Broken & Mended: Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression group.  Each week will include a Truth Reminder from His words that gives hope of healing and mending in the midst of postpartum depression.  

 

{Broken & Mended} Truth Reminders: Isaiah 61:1-3

 Photo credit: Arman Zhenikeyev

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, 

because the LORD has annointed me 

to bring good news to the poor; 

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 

to proclaim liberty to the captives, 

and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, 

and the day of vengeance of our God; 

to comfort all who mourn;

 to grant to those who mourn in Zion-- 

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, 

the oil of gladness instead of mourning, 

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; 

that they may be called oaks of righteousness, 

the planting of the LORD, 

that He may be glorified.

(Isaiah 61:1-3)

Jesus opened the scroll in the synagogue in Luke 4 and read this Scripture, declaring that "this day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears" (verse 17).  The Truth of these words paints a beautiful picture of how God planned to redeem a lost world.  When Jesus spoke them in the synagogue that day, all the people wondered at how He, born a man to a mere carpenter, could make such a lofty claim.  But God knew and He had been preparing His way long before those words were even penned on a page. 

The very words of this Scripture answer the questions the people had in the synagogue that day.  Jesus made such a lofty claim, because God had sent Him and His Spirit was upon Him.  According to Matthew Henry's commentary, "This is a great satisfaction to us, that, whatever Christ said, he had a warrant from heaven for; his doctrine was not his, but his that sent him." He was not just another prophet.  He was the One God had been preparing the way for, the long awaited Messiah.

The reason He sent His Son never ceases to take my breath away.  He did not come simply to do battle against Rome and set Himself on an earthly throne.  No, He came for the poor, the brokenhearted, and the captives.  As Psalm 34:18 says, "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." To those who are humble and meek before a mighty God, He offers healing and salvation.  Psalm 51:17 goes on to say that "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."

God knows our brokenness, because we are a fallen world.  And still He loves and He cares for us with an everlasting, unfailing love.  I love what Matthew Henry says about how He comforts those who mourn.  "There is enough in him to comfort all who mourn, whatever their sore or sorrow is."  Not only will He comfort the mourners, but He will also turn their sorrow into joy.  No more have I seen this Truth laid out in my own life than in my own PPD story, because, though I was broken and wounded, He healed and brought me victory, and He has turned my ashes to beauty by using my story over and over to reach more women in their brokenness with the same Hope and healing He has given me.  

If you're reading these words today and you are in the midst of your own mourning and brokenness, my prayer is that His words would give you hope that He can turn your sorrow into joy and that one day your mourning will be turned to dancing.  As Luke 12:6-7 says, "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows."

***

This blog post is part of a series of posts I will be sharing on Sundays during Session 2 of (in)courager community groups to encourage the women I am honored to be ministering to and leading in the Broken & Mended: Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression group.  Each week will include a Truth Reminder from His words that gives hope of healing and mending in the midst of postpartum depression.  

{Broken & Mended} Truth Reminders: 2 Timothy 1:7

 

“for God gave us a spirit not of fear 

but of power and love and self-control.” 

(2 Timothy 1:7) 

Fear and anxiety are the body's natural response to danger, whether real or suspected.  The problem for someone with an anxiety disorder is that this natural response is on hyper drive, over reacting to even imagined scenarios.  So, for someone like me, anxiety can creep in with a hurricane force before I even have a chance to catch my breath.

This verse in 2 Timothy has been one of my favorite "swords" for fighting the battle of anxiety.  In Christ, I know I can overcome anything and this verse reminds me first of all that I do not have to live captive to the fear.  The fear may come, but God's power is stronger.

It is the same power that conquered death in Christ, who "was declared to be the Son of God in power according to the Spirit of holiness by his resurrection from the dead" (Romans 1:4).  Because He lives, I am no longer bound by fear and anxiety.  In Him, I am "strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy" (Colossians 1:11).   

I love the words of this hymn and the hope that these truths remind me of:

Because he lives
I can face tomorrow
Because he lives
All fear is gone
Because I know
He holds the future
And life is worth the living
Just because he lives

 

This blog post is part of a series of posts I will be sharing on Sundays during Session 2 of (in)courager community groups to encourage the women I am honored to be ministering to and leading in the Broken & Mended: Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression group.  Each week will include a Truth Reminder from His words that gives hope of healing and mending in the midst of postpartum depression.  

{Broken & Mended} Truth Reminders: Psalm 42:11

Photo credit: moonlightbulb

"Why are you cast down, O my soul, 

and why are you in turmoil within me? 

Hope in God; 

for I shall again praise him, 

my salvation and my God."

 (Psalm 42:11)

Psalm 42, most likely penned by King David, speaks of the conflict between sense and faith, "sense objecting and faith answering" (Matthew Henry commentary).  Sense argues that darkness and turmoil cloud the author's days, but faith gets the final word in verse 11 with the reminder that no matter what trial comes our way, we have hope in the God who is our salvation.

This phrase is repeated in more than one Psalm and often is something we who are troubled need often repeat in our hearts over and over, because our hearts soon forget.   For when the world wears us down, we need only look up, for there is a God in heaven who hears our heart's cry and will one day wipe away every tear and sorrow.  

I have often returned to this verse on my darkest days, because the darkness is so very lonely and consuming.  Reading words that were likely written by David, God's chosen one to lead His people as king and a man after God's own heart, comforts me in knowing that I am not alone in my struggles.  Even King David doubted and felt the weight of darkness.  But David didn't let the darkness consume him completely.  He knew where his hope came from and he clung to that truth in his darkest moments.

***

Struggling to know how or where to dig deeper into His words?  In the past few years, I've done several different published bible studies, including ones written by Beth Moore and Kay Arthur, as well as the Good Morning Girls studies.  These different approaches have all taught me that the first step to digging deeper is to observe the context of the verse(s) being studied.  This includes reading the surrounding verses, understanding the author and purpose of the book of the bible, and relating to the background or audience of the passage.  Once you understand the context, you can begin to interpret and discern the meaning of the verse(s) you are studying.

Then, to dig deeper, you can use a concordance to do word studies of particular words in the passage, read commentaries like Matthew Henry, and look up cross references.  My favorite website to do in depth studies is Blue Letter Bible, because you can find links to all these study tools for each verse.  The more I've learned to use these different study tools, the more I've enjoyed digging deeper into His truths, allowing His words to penetrate my heart and soul in a way that both challenges and encourages me on my daily walk with Him. 

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This blog post is the first in a series of posts I will be sharing on Sundays during Session 2 of (in)courager community groups to encourage the women I am honored to be ministering to and leading in the Broken & Mended: Hope in the Midst of Postpartum Depression group.  Each week will include a Truth Reminder from His words that gives hope of healing and mending in the midst of postpartum depression.

Linking up with Barbie for The Weekend Brew.

Linking up with Diedra for The Sunday Community.

 

The Weekend Brew: My Safe Place

Photo credit: Justin Otto

"And you will feel secure, because there is hope; 

you will look around and take your rest in security." 

(Job 11:18)

Security: freedom from danger, risk, anxiety, doubt, or want; well-founded confidence; safety; protection from harm

When the day turns to night and the house is quiet but for the sound of gentle breathing from the three little ones we are blessed to call our own, I curl into bed and pull the covers up tight.  My husband crawls in bed beside me, and, often without even asking, he knows that I long for the security of his arms around me.

Because in those quiet moments between awake and asleep...my mind is loudly at work filling me with worries and anxieties.  But the moment my husband wraps his arms around me, my shoulders relax, my breathing slows, and my mind begins to quiet its bedtime wanderings.

There is something in the strength and calmness of his arms holding me tight that reminds me of the One who holds my every step safe and secure in His arms. 

Matthew Henry says of Job 11:18 that "Those who have a good hope, through grace, in God, and of heaven, are certainly safe, and have reason to be secure, how difficult soever the times are through which they pass in this world."  No matter what trials or storms come my way, I can hold onto to this hope and know that He is my safe place. 

Linking up with Barbie for The Weekend Brew. 

 

Fresh Brewed Sundays: Communion & Community

Photo credit: trustypics

"The cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread."

(1 Corinthians 10:15-16)

I've heard these verses over and over in my years of growing up in church, but it wasn't until God revealed to me the hope of His salvation that these verses really came alive for me.  The bread and the wine that we partake in communion is a symbol, a beautiful picture of what it means to be in fellowship and friendship with the very God who created us and spoke the world into existence.  

In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve enjoyed perfect communion with God, walking with Him through the garden day after day...until that fateful day they made the worst choice ever.  Sin entered the world through one man and with it that beautiful relationship was broken...but God made a way to restore us to Him through the man who is the Son of God, the Word became flesh.  

So every time we celebrate the Lord's table, we remember the way He poured out His blood and gave of His body for us all.  And in celebrating this together, in community and fellowship with other believers, we remember that we, though many, are really one, part of the body of Christ.  

This is what community is all about - celebrating the blessing of His body and blood freely given for us and joining together to give glory and honor and praise to the only one who deserves all the accolades in the world.    We are the people He formed for Himself we might declare His praises (Isaiah 43:21).  

Linking up with Barbie for Fresh Brewed Sundays...



and with Deidra for The Sunday Community.

Are you desperate for more community or (in)couragement?  I'm excited to be part of a new ministry with (in)courage to connect women beyond the blog post with other women who get where you are at and will encourage you along the way.  Come back here Tuesday for the big reveal!