Twas The Write Before Christmas: Day 8

All Is Calm

 
I awake from a dream to the sounds of my newborn son stirring beside me in bed. Before the squirming turns into hunger cries, I scoop him up in my arms, sit up in bed, and watch him instantly calm the moment he latches onto the nourishment only a mother can give.  And as he nurses, my eyelids begin to fade, but I force myself to stay awake, to stare at him and to relish in the moment. 

There were many nights when my oldest two were nursing babes that I cried and begged for just a little more sleep.  I dreaded the night time hours and awoke more exhausted than the night before.  I walked through my days in a fog, waiting for the day they would sleep through the night. 

But when our neighbors received devastating news about their unborn son, when a friend said goodbye to her newborn son way too soon, and when parents sent their little ones off to school for the very last time, I remembered that these moments are oh, so fleeting.  I do not know what tomorrow holds and, really, I am only promised today, this very moment. 

The reality of that truth is so scary and so overwhelming.  I hate not being in control, but, the bigger truth is that I was never in control to begin with.  Before I was even being knit together in my mother's womb there was One who already knew all the days ordained for me.  He alone knows what will happen for my tomorrows. 

So, in the calm of the night, when the rest of the house is fast asleep, instead of complaining and longing for sleep, I cradle my newborn son and watch as his body relaxes and his hands curl around me.  I listen to the soft whisper of his breathing and smile when it gives way to happy sighs and a milk drunk smile.  I want to live my life without any regrets, to take captive moments like this, because it could so easily be taken away from me and I will miss this.   

Linking up with Bigger Picture Blogs for this year's Twas The Write Before Christmas.  Check out this year's prompts here and join in the fun! 

 

Twas The Write Before Christmas: Day 4

Home For The Holidays

 Photo by Julia Jean Photography

Home. 


One drama princess girl

Clothed in pink

Dancing to her own beat

Singing her own melody

Laughing out her joy.


Home.


One wild monkey boy

Adventure seeking

Risk taking

Couch climbing

Bike riding

Smile contagious.


Home.


One sweet baby boy

Tiny fingers holding on tight

Soft blue eyes engaging ours

Sleepy eyed, milk drunk smiling

Slowly finding his own voice.


Home.


One mountain bike racing husband

Gently leading

Graciously forgiving

Intentionally encouraging

Choosing love daily.


Home.


If home is where the heart is, 

then my home is divided four ways.

No matter where we are 

or what our Christmas looks like 

from year to year, 

I know where I belong 


and they are my home.   

 
Linking up with Bigger Picture Blogs for this year's Twas The Write Before Christmas.  Check out this year's prompts here and join in the fun!

 

Just Write: The Here & Now

In the middle of the night, my son begins to squirm.  I crawl out of bed, scoop him up, and nurse him before his midnight cries wake anyone else from a quiet slumber.  I can't stop staring at him, the way his hands wrap around me and hold me tight, the way he sighs so softly as he soaks up mommy's milk, and the way the two of us are connected so beautifully beyond the womb.  These are the moments I don't want to forget, that I want to imprint on my heart for years to come.

As the flow of milk slows and his sighs give way to the soft whisper of a sleeping babe, I think of my friend and I stay awake a little longer just to watch his chest rise and fall with each little breath, breathing my own prayer of thanksgiving for a son who fills my arms and my heart with more joy than I ever imagined possible.  And praying for my heavenly Father to wrap His arms around my friend's empty ones and encompass her with a peace that surpasses understanding. 

The little one asleep in my arms begins to fuss.  His night time congestion wakes him from his slumber and I rise from bed to walk and rock him back and forth.  My eyes begin to droop as my weary body reminds me of my own need for rest...but, for a moment, I forget my own discomfort and stare again at this newborn baby in my arms.

I can hear the soft snores of my daughter and older son in their room and I remember the many sleepless nights rocking them back and forth.  I know too many women who long for those sleepless nights, just to have their baby here once more.  I breathe another prayer, this time asking Him to remind me always not to take these moments for granted and to know, even when it's hard, that motherhood is a blessing and these little ones are a gift.  I don't deserve these gifts, but oh, how I love them...and oh, how I would miss them if they weren't here.

Because life really is a vapor...and we are not promised tomorrow.  These little ones belong to Him and only He knows the number of their days.  Our days together are numbered, whether it be until tomorrow or decades from now.  

So, for today, while they are here in my arms, I will stop to stare at their chests rising and falling with each breath, to laugh and dance myself silly just to see them smile, and to take mental snapshots of every single moment, breathing in the here and the now.  If all we have is today, I want to remember this forever. 

Linking up with Heather for this week's free writing exercise.

Enter to win a $50 credit to Shutterfly!

 

Blessed

Long before our littlest peanut arrived, I knew the transition from two kids to three would be hard. I struggle with change, especially when it means our routine is thrown off balance. Life with a newborn is filled with sleepless nights, endless messes, and crazy, unpredictable hormones. I needed to prepare myself better this time, so I carefully planned ways to make the transition easier on all of us.

I have really grown to love this little space I call home online. If this space remained empty, I knew I would feel pressured to fill it...but I also knew the exhaustion that comes with having a newborn would make it hard for me to find words or time to write. So, I sent out a request to several women whose blogs and friendships have meant so much to me in the years since I began this journey of motherhood and many of them responded with eagerness to help fill this space with their own words of encouragement and wisdom.

I've so enjoyed reading and sharing their words and I hope you have too. In case you missed any of these beautifully written guest posts, you can follow these links below to read and be blessed by their words. And to each of the women who shared this space with me for the past month, thank you so very much.

Surviving Motherhood Through The Early Years (by Barbie Swihart)

Lunch Sack Seeds (by Becky Crenshaw)

What's A Super Mom Anyway? (by Angela Squires)

When All It Takes Is A Kiss (by Chaunie Brusie)

On A Dock In The Country (by Corinne Cunningham)

Parental Delight (by Gram)

Your Love Never Fails (by Kate Ferguson) 

Weathering the Storm (by Kelli Becton)

Confidence (by Amanda Popp)

 A Moment (by Holly Haas)

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While this blog was so well taken care of, I've enjoyed savoring every moment with our newest son. We love every precious little piece of him and it's truly hard to imagine our lives without him now that he is finally here. My two big kids love taking turns holding him and talking to him, marveling and giggling at every little sound or new movement he makes. There have certainly been moments that have overwhelmed me, but I have learned a lot in the past few years about how His grace is more than sufficient and that His mercies are new every morning.

The house is rarely clean these days and sometimes I forget how many days it's been since I last showered (or had a quiet moment to myself), but I know this time is fleeting, because life truly is a vapor. Already, our sweet baby boy is starting to lift his head on his own, roll onto his side, and coo and smile at the sound of our voices...and before we know it he will be running alongside his brother and sister.

My husband has been a huge support too and I am so grateful to be walking this journey of parenthood with him by my side. I wake every morning to the sound of him quietly preparing breakfast and whispering to the big kids so I can capture a few more moments of sleep before he heads off to work. On the nights when our littlest one is fussy and refusing to sleep, my husband has held my hand and rubbed my back as I cry tears of exhaustion.

When I look at the mess of laundry and dishes and messes piled throughout our house, he gently redirects my gaze to him and reminds me that the mess can wait for another day, because these little ones are already growing way too fast. So, for now, I am counting the little blessings throughout the day and reminding myself that I am blessed with the privilege of raising these three beautiful and healthy children...and that this calling is a great and honorable one.

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Be sure to come back tomorrow for a fun review/giveaway from Happy Family.