A Year in Review: 2011

First of all, before I forget...congratulations to Barbie (my new blogging friend) for winning a Wildtree beer bread of your choice from my Three Year Blogiversary post.  I love what she said about her year: "My word for 2011 was "Constant". God is the only Constant One in my life. He never changes. This year my goal was to learn to be constant. I have been more consistent, although I still have a ways to go. Please pray that I will continue to seek Him in deeper places." You can be sure I'll be praying for you, friend! 

***

Dear 2011,

You brought me some of the hardest storms and often it felt like too much.  There were many times when I wanted to give up, but you also reminded me of hope.

You showed me that even in the storms, even when it's hard, I can still praise the One who gives me each new day.  You made me stronger, reminding me of who He made me to be and helping me find myself again.

As hard as this year has been, it has also been a blessing.  Sometimes the hardest moments are the best, because they teach me to lean fully on the Lord who is really all I need.

You reminded me of the blessings I already have: friends who pray me through the storms and love me for who I really am, a husband who never gives up on me and holds me up when I am weak, family who has seen me at my worst and still chooses to love me each day, and a doctor and counselor who really care about me and help me to see through my mess to find who I really am in Him. 

You taught me that I really am strong, that I can overcome anything by the power of His strength.  You helped me to see the beauty He created in me - that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 

So, 2011, thank you for all you have been.  I am looking forward to a new year, but grateful for the journey you have seen me through. 

Farewell, 2011.

And welcome, 2012.

A Year in Photos: 2011

Cupcakes in California: January

Growing in the Lord: February

Our Texas Adventure: March

The Real Me: April

My Gluten Free, Dairy Free Life: May

Summer Lovin': June 

My Sister's Wedding: July



Celebrating Five Years: August

  Becoming a Runner: September 

Finding Myself: October

 A Habit of Thankfulness: November

A Different Kind of Christmas: December

To Our Sparrow

A week ago today, my sweet cousin, Sparrow, had to endure something no young wife and mom should ever have to endure...saying a final goodbye to her wonderful husband, a man who loved deeply and could fill a room with his smile and laughter.  My family and I have been so broken over her loss and really feeling torn between being here for grandma in her last days and hopping on the next plane to be there with our Sparrow.  I wrote a letter on behalf of my cousins to be shared with Sparrow to let her know how much we love her and will be here to support her in the hard months and years to come...

Sparrow,

Our hearts are breaking for you and all you’ve had to endure.  It just doesn’t seem fair.  We wish we could be with you right now.  Even though we are far away, we want you to know that we will be your strength, holding you and supporting you in the months and years ahead.    

Many of us have been blessed to have known and loved Monte.  He was a great man whose love for you and your beautiful daughter was so evident.  He was such a joy to be around.  We will never forget his smile or the way he could tell a story.  We are all proud to call him family. 

On your wedding day, many of us were there to share in the joy of your new life together.  Monte couldn’t have been happier to be married to you.  Because of all you have been through in your life, we’ve all felt a desire to protect and watch out for you, but we knew, without a doubt, that this was a man who would cherish and love you well.   Even those who couldn’t be there will forever remember the beauty of your love in every picture you have shared with us. 

It is that love that will carry you through.  Though he is no longer here with us, he will live on through your beautiful daughter.  Matia – such a beautiful name for the daughter you had both waited for and dreamed of from the moment you excitedly shared your news with all of us.  You could probably have heard all our yelling and shouting when we found out your wonderful news.  We couldn’t have been happier for you.  If anyone deserved a happily ever after, it was you. 

We still can’t believe this is really happening.  We’ve all cried for you and for the loss of a man who will be forever missed and never forgotten.  If only there was a way to reach across the miles and envelop you in our arms.  We really wish we could be there with you today.  You are never far from our thoughts or our prayers.  Just imagine us all here, right now, holding you and loving you.  We all love you so much.

Your Klein cousins
Star, Kisha, Jackson, Tristan, Joshua, Sam, Ben, Stephanie, Melissa, DJ, Kelly, Dan, Alyssa, Nicole, Emma, Ethan

From Our Family To Yours

Child Of Joy Christmas Card

Create from the Heart: photo Christmas cards from Shutterfly .

View the entire collection of cards.

"And the angel said unto them, 

Fear not: for, behold, 

I bring you good tidings of great joy, 

which shall be to all people. 

For unto you is born this day 

in the city of David a Saviour, 

which is Christ the Lord." 

(Luke 2:10-11)

A Different Kind of Christmas

Photo credit: mtsofan

This year, Christmas feels very strange.  Just yesterday we said our final goodbye to a grandma who loved well and lived life abundantly.  My heart will always have a piece that belongs to her.

After the funeral, we drove to MI to be with my husband's family.  My heart was breaking the whole way.  Being with my family for the past week and a half has been a safe zone for me.  They know me so well and understand my pain right now.  We've all cried together and held each other up during some of the hardest days.

But when we arrived in MI, I felt so out of place.  I had no energy or strength to even say hello.  All I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and sleep until the pain went away.

This morning, we went to a family gathering where only a few people knew of my loss.  Everyone was happy and excited about Christmas, singing carols and talking about the good times of the past year.  The first person who asked me, "are you okay?" made me fall apart.  I had to leave the room, hiding in a bathroom where the tears could freely fall.

I couldn't eat anything.  I couldn't look at anyone and the conversation around me just sounded like a blur.  I wanted to run away and hide until it was over, because it just didn't feel right to be there celebrating Christmas when I don't really feel like Christmas right now.

I've been longing for a simple Christmas this year, trying to focus on the Christ in Christmas instead of the presents, food, decorations, etc.  Right now, those things that mean Christmas to so many mean nothing to me. I long for the One who came quietly in a stable.  Because when your heart is breaking at Christmas, the only thing left in Christmas is Christ, the Messiah, Emmanuel, God with Us.  

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, 

and we have seen his glory, 

glory as of the only Son from the Father, 

full of grace and truth." (John 1:14)

 

Valerie Laura Klein

My mom and her brothers wrote this beautiful tribute to their mom, a woman who lived a full and beautiful life and will be missed by so many who loved her and were blessed to have known her...

 ***

Valerie Laura Klein passed to the next life Sunday morning while surrounded by her loving family.

Laura (as she was called) was born March 4th, 1928 and raised in Niagara, Wisconsin, the daughter of Raymond McKinley and Valerie Olive Outcelt, and sister to Raymond.

At one point she wrote both for the local newspaper and had her own radio show “Date With the Ladies”.  She met Paul Klein, a young engineer at the local paper mill and they were married in 1948.  Their marriage was an inspiration for over 60 years, 10 children, and several transcontinental moves, eventually settling in the Fox River Valley in a home they designed and built, mostly with their own hands.

She returned to college the same year her youngest entered kindergarten.  While balancing a busy family life, she completed her degree in teaching, and spent many years teaching English as a second language to the local Hmong and other immigrant communities.

Her life would not have been as full without her many canine companions.  She loved all of her dogs throughout her life, but was especially fond of her Samoyeds.

Although Paul spent the latter half of his professional life as a deacon in the Catholic Church, all that knew them recognized that they were an inseparable team.

She was a devoted, creative, loving, and diligent wife, mother, sister, teacher, and friend to many.  Laura is survived by eight children; Lawrence, Mark (Ellen Davis),Thomas (Erin Moonlight), Charles (Susan Gigot-Klein), James (Michelle), Mary (David) Fochs, Andrew (Stephanie) and Gerard (Michelle), 18 grandchildren and six great-grandchildren.  She is further survived by a brother Ray (Lois) Outcelt and a brother-in-law John (Mary).  Laura was preceded in death by her husband Paul, two children, Paula and Peter, a grandson Levi, a sister in-law Carlyne and a granddaughter’s husband, Monte Trott.

There is no way that we can remember and personally thank everyone who has been a support to us.  We would like to acknowledge and thank the nurses and doctors at Affinity/St. Elizabeth’s, especially Dr. Douglas Grant and his nurse Lynn who provided loving care for our family over the past 36 years, and Dr. Reidy, and Dr. Bannasch who provided such thoughtful care for our mother in her final days.

We want to thank the diocese of Green Bay and deaconate community for their many years of great friendship and support to our mother. They have been blessed with many friends over the years.  We would like to acknowledge Rosemary Cummings for her long friendship and fellow deacon and close friends Don Wetzel and his wife Joan and Rita Wessing.

We have been blessed with a mother who possessed an apparently boundless well of love and compassion, a keen sense of social justice, and an occasionally outrageous sense of humor.

A mass of Christian Burial will be held at 11:00AM Friday, December 23, 2011, at St. Thomas More Catholic Church.  Visitations will be held at 5PM with a vigil at 7:30 PM on Thursday, December 22^nd at Valley Funeral Home, visitation will continue on Friday at the church from 9 until the time of mass.

In lieu of flowers, memorials can be directed to either Madonna House Apostolate in Combermere, Ontario or Fox Valley Literacy Council. 

Saying Goodbye

The table was set for a Christmas dinner, laden with Christmas dishes, santa mugs, angel centerpieces, and a beautiful satin red table cloth.  We waited for our parents to come home, for a momentary respite from the hard days our family had endured...until the phone rang.

I heard my brother say, "dad wants to talk to all of us" as he gathers us around his phone.  My dad's voice breaks as I hear the words, "grandma is not going to make it".  And all I can think is, "I don't want to do this, again..."

As my legs become weak and my body starts shaking, I escape from the room as sobs choke me.  I fall to my knees, rocking back and forth as the tears overwhelm me.  My brother rushes to my side first, rubbing my back and just holding me until my husband comes in the room, closes the door behind him, and rocks me back and forth in his arms. 

Is this all a nightmare...that I'm reliving again?  I've been here before and I'm just not ready to endure the long, hard road ahead...again.  I know how my heart broke and how the ache in my heart never went away. 

When the tears calm down and I find the strength to stand again, we all go through the motions of changing our dinner plans, packing bags to go to the hospital again, and waiting for the phone call that it is time to come.  There is a strange silence in the house as we all leave and slowly make our way back to a road we've traveled before. 

I see my grandma, but it doesn't look like her anymore.  Her body is weak, her breathing is shallow, and the spark of life that once engaged us all in the zest, wit, and humor of a life well lived is now fading.  When my turn comes, my husband holds my hand and walks me to her bedside.  I hold her hand and kiss her forehead.  I tell her I love her as my voice begins to shake.

"I don't know what to say...I don't want to say goodbye..." I tell my husband who reminds me that she already knows, but that she can hear me still.  I begin to tell her the things I will remember about her: the way she could paint a picture with her words and captivate us with her stories, the birthdays and graduations and good times and bad times she has been there for me, the times I've spent with her alone listening to her share her heart, the way my daughter calls her 'great mommy' and loves her so. 

I tell her she will never be forgotten, that she will live on in our memories and in our hearts...and in the daughter we named after her.  I whisper more words of love and thanks for the love she has shown me and the lessons she has taught me about life.  I weep as I think about saying goodbye and admit that I don't want to lose her...but that I know she's lived her life well. 

And somehow, I find the strength to stand again, kiss her one last time, and walk back to the waiting room where my husband holds my shaking body and reminds me of the God who is the God who heals and the God who is my strength and the God who is faithful, even in the storms. 

Somehow, I know I will make it through to the other side of this journey...but, today, my heart is simply breaking.  Thank you so for the prayers, thoughts, and words that have sustained us and will continue to carry us through the hard, long days ahead. 

Another Goodbye

My grandma passed away this morning...and my heart is breaking.  Goodbyes are so, so hard.  I will share more when I can find the words...but, for now, here is a picture of my sweet grandma, the way I will always remember her.

 

The Hard Eucharisteo

As my dad walks in the door, I see his smile fading.  His shoulders slump and his words tell us it is getting worse. 

My sweet grandma, always so good with words, who always has an open smile in photos because she loves to share her stories, is understanding our words but unable to form her own words. 

Seizures, Alzheimers, mini strokes...the doctors explain...and in just a few words are hope is deferred.

I share my heart with a sweet friend who loves on me with her prayers and her heart that knows me so well.  We remember how, even in the storms, God is faithful. 

He has prepared us so graciously for the hard moments, reminding us that eucharisteo, a life of giving thanks and counting our blessings, is not always easy, but still possible.

The soothing aroma of lavendar and a warm bath invites me to sink in and wash away the pain and the hurt and the tears.  I soak it in until the water cools down, slowly willing myself to return to the moments that I wish I didn't have to endure. 

My husband sits in bed with our two beautiful children cuddled up close to their daddy.  His eyes lock with mine as I walk in and he knows I am hurting.  He invites me to join this circle, the one formed by love and held together by the One who has blessed us more than we deserve. 

My daughter leans over her daddy and reaches her arm out to me.  Her eyes search my ownand somehow, at only three, she really sees me.  I kiss her and she smiles, a smile that says, "I know you're sad, mommy, but I love you." 

And I remember Ann's words, that sometimes the moments that are hard are better than the moments that are easy, because they remind us of grace and that in our deepest pain, we get grace enough to bear it - when we run into the arms of Grace who bore it all, into Him who is more than enough.

I wonder at how God has prepared me for a time when I would again have to praise Him not for the good things, but for His love that is goodness enough. 

Even in this storm, I will trust in the One who holds my tomorrows and praise Him for grace enough to bear it and for Him who is more than enough. 

To you, O LORD, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me, lest, if you be silent to me, I become like those who go down to the pit. 

Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy, when I cry to you for help, when I lift up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary...

Blessed be the LORD! For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.  

The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. 

(Psalm 28:1-2, 6-7)

 

Even In This Storm

This morning, I woke up with the feeling that yesterday had been a terrible, horrible dream.  It just seems so unreal.

What I didn't share in this post was the news that shook our family even more on a day that was already so hard.  On the way to the hospital, as my heart was already breaking for the grandma I love so much, laying in a hospital bed, recovering from a stroke, the phone rang.

It took me months after my grandpa died to not panic and feel my heart race every time the phone rang.  It was that same fear that immobilized me as I saw my sister's name on the caller id.  And when I picked it up, all I heard were sobs.

And that is when I felt like my world was falling apart.  Because my other sister told me grandma was so bad, we all needed to come.  I felt like my fears were coming true and I wasn't ready for it.

But then I heard my sister choking out the words "Sparrow" and "Monte" and "heart attack" and "died".  And I thought I must have imagined her words.  I sat there trying to process it, telling my sister, "what???" over and over as her tears fell harder and her broken words came out saying "it just isn't fair.  why? why? why?".  

My sweet cousin, Sparrow, who has already lost so much, lost her wonderful husband, a man who has loved her and cherished her so deeply.  They have a beautiful 6 month old daughter, who will never know the man who was so proud to be her daddy.  So unexpectedly and so young, it just doesn't make sense.

My heart is breaking, friends.  As I hung up with my sister and called my brother to make sure he knew and I heard the words come out of my own mouth, I fell apart.

Today, my grandma was doing much better, but tonight she is so exhausted and it is still a critical waiting game.  So, here we are waiting, and feeling so torn between being here with the grandma we so love and being there with our sweet Sparrow.

Your prayers and your words of encouragement mean the world to us.  I cannot even say thank you enough.

Tonight, even while my heart is breaking, I am reminded how blessed I am.  I have two beautiful healthy children who are growing and make my heart so happy.  I have a husband who is healthy and alive and loves me more than I deserve.  I have family who loves, supports, and cares for each other through some of the hardest trials of life.

And I have so many friends who listen when I need to talk, who intercede for us to the One who is faithful even in the storms, and whose words of encouragement and love mean more to us than anything else right now.

Even in this storm, even when I question and wonder, "why, Lord? why?", I know that He is good and I trust in Him for all my tomorrows. 

Love Came Down: [Dayspring Review & Giveaway]

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, 

and we have seen his glory, 

glory as of the only Son of the Father, 

full of grace and truth." 

(John 1:14)

The Word, the voice of God spoken into the darkness.  He spoke and the world came into being.  In the beginning was the Word.  He looked at what He had created and saw that it was good.

But that world, once perfect and good, fell into darkness once more.  One man brought sin, death, and darkness.  All have sinned and fallen short of His glory.

Still, God loved His creation, and, while it was still flawed and imperfect, He "made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of man" (Philippians 2:7).  The God who spoke and it was, chose to humble Himself, to take on the form of broken, sin filled man. 


Love came down.  Manifested in the flesh, God sent forth His son.

Being born as a man, He chose to dwell among us, to pitch His tent, and make His dwelling place with man.  "He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God" (Revelation 21:3b).

And we, though tainted by sin, beheld His glory, for He is the "radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of nature" (Hebrews 1:3).  Where man once had to shield his face in the presence of an Almighty God, he could now see the glory of God with unveiled faces.

"In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world" (1 John 4:9). 

Love came down.  Born of woman, born under the law, the Son came to show us grace, goodwill, favor, the loving kindness of an Almighty God who is perfect and holy.  "For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell" (Colossians 1:19).

This gift, His grace, became our salvation.  "Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift" (2 Corinthians 9:15)!

Grace was given and truth was revealed.  "And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

Love came down.  "And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together" (Isaiah 40:5).

***

Dayspring created a beautiful line of products with the Love Came Down theme.  They were generous enough to send me the Advent Tabletop Devotion along with a Names of Jesus Latte Mug and Love Came Down Mug.


I shared the mugs with a friend who came over for tea and she was so excited to see the sweet little flower at the bottom of her mug when her tea was finished.  What a beautiful way to remember the love that came down at Christmas!

I love the size of the latte mug - perfect for my favorite chai tea with a little bit of vanilla flavored almond milk.  And the names of Jesus written all over this mug?  They are a beautiful picture of the Word became flesh who chose to live among us and reveal His grace and truth.

The Advent Tabletop Devotion is one I saw at the Christian bookstore and fell in love with it right away.  You can imagine my excitement when it arrived at my home for this review.  I just love the simple beauty of it.  Each day has a bible verse and a thought prompt based on the bible verse.  I used this prompt the other day for my own devotions.  It was exactly what I needed. 

Dayspring is offering a $20 gift certificate to ONE of my readers.  To enter, simply leave a comment on this post sharing what love came down means to you.  

For more giveaways from this month's (in)spired deals, check out the link up of giveaway posts here.

Disclosure: Dayspring sent me the three Love Came Down products to review and is offering the $20 giveaway to my readers.  While the products were free blessings to me, the opinions expressed are completely my own.  I really do love Dayspring and (in)courage.

***

Yesterday was one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days...except it feels like one I've had before.  Would you pray for me and my family?  This is really, really hard.

Also, I'd love to hear from YOU letting me know what one word describes your year.  Plus, there's a fun giveaway for one person who leaves a comment. 

Updated: Giveaway will close on December 31st at 10:00 pm. 

Back Here, Again

I feel like we've been down this road before.  The road of waiting rooms and family gathering round and hearts breaking. 

My aunt asked me how I was doing and held me close as the tears came again.  It's just too much. 

My grandma lays in a hospital bed, sheets pulled up close to her face, breathing softly, in and out of sleep.  The same grandma who lost her husband of 62 years less than two years ago.  In the same ICU, down the same hallway. 

And we wait, in the same waiting room, family coming from far and wide.  Eleven days before Christmas. 

The fog set in today, so deep and heavy my sister and her husband had to pull of the road and find a new route when cars piled up on the road they usually take.  And that fog...it settles in my heart too. 

I find myself floating between denial and brokenness.  I don't know what tomorrow will hold, what three days will tell us.  But the possibilities...they overwhelm me. 

Your prayers...we covet them today.  It is the Love that came down at Christmas that holds me today, allowing the tears to fall and the worries about tomorrow to be laid at His feet.  Will you pray for us...because this is more than we can bear?

(For obvious reasons, the Dayspring review and giveaway I promised to post today will have to wait.  I can't bring myself to find the words to finish it and post it when my heart is so confused right now.)

 

Three Year Blogiversary: {Blessing}

Three years ago, I wrote my first blog post here.  What began as a way to share our family news with family and friends spread all over the states, became a place for me to share my story: my faith, my struggles, and my victories.

I have met so many women and moms who have encouraged me, loved on me, and walked with me through some of my darkest places.  I never knew how freeing it would be to let my heart spill out in words on a page.  I have never been more thankful for this blog than this past year.

If I were to describe this year for me in one word, it would be blessing.  At the beginning of the year, I wouldn't have chosen that word, because I was in a hard and lonely place in my life.  But God has given me victory and revealed His blessings to me, day in and day out, in every little moment of my life.

And I am so thankful for each and every one of you who come here, read my words, and encourage me with your own words, thoughts, and prayers.  You are a blessing to me!

Would you do me a favor today?  I'd love to hear from you, every single one of you, even if you've never left a comment before.  Let me know how I can pray for you and what one word describes your year. 

(As a special bonus, one person who comments here just to say hello will have a chance to win ONE Wildtree beer bread mix! Also, stay tuned tomorrow for a Dayspring review/giveaway.)

Just Write: Grieving Gluten

When I began this journey of gluten free, dairy free living, I knew it would be hard.  But I didn't expect to feel this weepy about the foods I can no longer enjoy.

Not that we eat out a lot, but now it's nearly impossible.  I can't trust that even if something would be considered gluten free it's not cooked on the same surface as products with gluten or has some sort of hidden gluten in it.

Grocery shopping became a challenge too.  Did you know that the individually frozen boneless skinless chicken breast has gluten in it?  They glaze it with chicken broth and gluten is the thickening agent in chicken broth.

I watched this video yesterday and the doctor said that even a milligram of gluten can be toxic for someone with gluten sensitivity.  One milligram - that's one eighth the size of your fingernail.

I have a feeling if you were to biopsy my stomach lining it wouldn't look pretty.  Because gluten causes the villi to atrophy, or lay flat, preventing your body from getting the nutrients it needs.  It can take a year to heal this, but the damage is reversible.

I started packing for a week away from home to visit my inlaws for Christmas.  I have to pack an entire week's worth of food for myself.  I feel kind of silly explaining it over and over, but I really do have to be careful.  Even a little bit of gluten will cause intense stomach pains that can keep me in bed for days.

I almost started crying in the middle of the grocery store when my husband chastised me for wanting to buy a dozen gluten free organic candy canes for almost $4.  I walked away angry until I finally spilled out the words I was feeling.  "You don't get it.  You can eat whatever you want...but I can't.  All the Christmas cookies, pies, and candies I used to love...I can't eat them anymore.  I can't even eat a candy cane."

He finally looked me in the eyes and said, "If it means that much to you, we can buy those candy canes for you."  It was a little thing, but it meant the world to me.

On Thursday night, we enjoyed a date night thanks to free babysitting offered by the high school girls at our church.  Instead of the usual dinner and a movie away from home, we enjoyed home cooked lobster, quinoa, and sauteed veggies with homemade gluten free, dairy free peppermint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert.  Then we cuddled up on the couch and watched a Redbox movie. 

I enjoy the comforts of home.  I don't like being out of my comfort zone.  Maybe that's why I feel so anxious every time we have to pack up and go somewhere.  Having a date night at home was priceless.

I'm still getting the hang of this gluten free, dairy free lifestyle.  Did you know that 7 out of 10 people have a gluten sensitivity and don't even know it?  Untreated, it can lead to auto immune diseases, the leading cause of death in America.

I sometimes wonder if I do, in fact, have celiacs.  The one blood test came back negative, but that was after almost a month of an almost completely gluten free diet.  In order to test positive, the villi have to be completely atrophied.  But what if the villi are partially atrophied or almost completely atrophied?

Did you know that foods like chocolate, coffee, quinoa, and oats can act like gluten to your body for someone who is super sensitive?  I'm kind of wondering if giving up coffee altogether will cure the remaining stomach pains I've been having.  Or could it be sugar that is cause the remaining pain?  I am so confused.

I can't even remember the last time I had a piece of soft, fluffy bread...or a bowl of macaroni and cheese.  All those comfort foods I used to enjoy...are suddenly toxic to my system.  And the longer I am off of gluten, the more even a little bit of gluten can wreak havoc on my system.  

My goal for the new year: learn to love my gut and take care of it better than I ever have.  Did that sound as weird to you as it did to me?  Maybe if we all loved our guts better than we do now, we'd all be happier and healthier than ever...

***

What I've been reading lately:

dear mom of the little boy with celiac disease

study on gluten sensitivity

IBS caused by gluten sensitivity

gluten sensitivity and IBS

***

Linking up with Heather at The Extraordinary Ordinary for Just Write: The 14th. 

Fresh Brewed Sundays: I Am Your Servant, Lord

photo credit: sunfrog1

"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. 

"May it be to me as you have said."

(Luke 1:38a)

***

It had been a long day and Mary looked forward to her one moment of free time to sit in the garden and pray.  As she knelt beneath a tree, she suddenly felt a presence before her.  She looked up and was almost blinded by the bright light before her.

"Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."

She covered her eyes and bowed her head as she realized she was in the presence of an angel.  Why would God choose to speak to her in such a way?  She was nobody special.  Her family was not royalty or wealthy by any means.  She was just a commoner.  And yet, there was an angel standing before her.

"Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God."
Me, a simple commoner? thought Mary.  Why would He choose me?

"You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."

Mary gasped and, before she had even a moment to think, she blurted out the first thought that came to her mind, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?"

"The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God."

Elizabeth?  Could it be true?  Oh, how she has longed for a child!  Oh what joy!  thought Mary.  It must be true, because I know God is faithful and He does what He promises.  

And as the words sunk into her heart, Mary looked up at the angel and said the only words she knew to say at a time like this.

"I am the Lord's servant, May it be to me as you have said."

As the angel left, Mary sat and pondered the words spoken to her.  God has chosen her, a lowly commoner, an unmarried woman, to bear the long awaited Messiah.  

***

Can you imagine, for a moment, being in Mary's shoes?  What if God had asked me to be part of a plan that seemed impossible to man?  Would I trust Him to do what He said?  Would I believe His promises and submit to serving Him, no matter what the future held? 

My heart's cry today is that He would teach me to trust in Him and believe in His word the way Mary did - to say to Him, "I am your servant, Lord.  May it be to me as you have said."  Mary chose to submit to God's plan for her life and so I choose to submit to His plans for my life, no matter what the future might hold. 

***

Linking up with Barbie of My Freshly Brewed Life for Fresh Brewed Sundays.

'Twas the Write Before Christmas: {Day 3}

"It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."

"Praise the LORD! [hallelujah] Praise the LORD [hallelujah], O my soul! I will praise the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being. Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish...The LORD will reign forever, your God, O Zion, to all generations. Praise the LORD! [hallelujah]" (Psalm 146: 1-4, 10)

The phrase "Praise the LORD" is found often in the Psalms, a command to lift our hands and sing our praises to the One who is worthy and awesome and good.  But, sometimes, opening our mouths to say "hallelujah" is hard.

In the last week of my grandfather's life, as his body grew weaker and the end loomed near, I fell to my knees, begging God to spare Him.  My words were broken and I felt cold and lonely.  But, somehow, in that moment of simply laying it all at His feet, even when it was hard, I found reason to praise Him.

I don't know what You saw in me / But I'm glad you believed / In spite of my condition / That Your mission was to rescue my heart
 
Don't understand the sacrifice / Why You gave up your life for the sake of my soul / Only heaven knows 

There's a mystery that lies / Within the logic of your love / There's an undying mercy / That I'm unworthy of
 
If that isn't reason enough to love You / Reason enough to give You / All of my heart and soul / There'll never be a reason

(Avalon, "Reason Enough")

As my sweet friend, grieves another loss, even in the midst of that kind of tired, she still finds the words to praise the One who will heal all her wounds and dry all her tears.  Because she knows there's reason enough to praise Him even in the storms.   

When our external hard drive with every single one of my photos on it crashed and the only way to fix it costs more money than we have right now...and when our washing machine broke on the same day...I still found the strength to lift my eyes to the hills and praise the One who's already given me more than I deserve.

Because, there are always moments like this...

...when a friend's husband was inches away from an explosion and literally on fire...and still came home un-burned to be a husband and dad, when she should have been planning a funeral but instead God chose to spare his life.  In those moments, it's impossible to not stand in awe of such an awesome God.  

His ways are often well beyond what we can comprehend, but He always, always has a plan, a perfect, beautiful, and wonderful plan for each and every one of us. 

So, even when it's a cold and broken hallelujah, it is still a hallelujah, because there is reason enough to praise Him, reason enough to love Him, reason enough to trust Him.

And that reason came in the form of a newborn babe, wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger, who grew up to be the Prince of Peace, the perfect and spotless Lamb. 

***

This post is part of Bigger Picture Blogs' series, 'Twas the Write Before Christmas, a prompt a day to encourage us to share our story and give our gifts as a small creative respite from the busy, crammed full of things to be done, holidays.  I am linking up today's post with Day 3's prompt.

'Twas the Write Before Christmas: {Day 2}

Photo credit: Will Merydith

"Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel"

Do you ever have trouble reading a phrase from a song without singing it?  As I read today's prompt, I couldn't help but find myself humming a melody.  These words are from a song my dad loved to sing and a story he would read to us every year at Christmastime.

Listening to my dad read is one of my most cherished memories.  Perhaps that is where my love of reading came from.  My dad loved to read to us and, as he read, the way he captured the mood and characters of a story through his voice brought the story to life in our imaginations.

As he read Good King Wenceslas, I could imagine the good king watching the poor man gathering winter fuel on a night that was cruel with frost.  He felt a compassion that was driven to action as he gathered flesh, wine, and more winter fuel and set forth by foot a good league hence to be a blessing. 

His page follows along, but finds the dark cold night and strong winds almost too much to bear.  The king tells his good page to mark his footsteps, bearing the burden of blazing the trail.  His page follows his lead, finding the ground where his good king tread to make his journey less coldly and the winter's rage less cruel. 

When at last they reach the home of the poor man, they find warmth and friendship awaiting them.  I always loved the picture on the last page of the king and page dining together with a lowly peasant.  It reminds me of the picture of Jesus dining with tax collectors, holding hands with lepers, and welcoming the harlot.

Jesus came not to be served, but to serve.  As I think about that first Christmas eve, when the star shown brightly over a meager little stable in Bethlehem, I wonder what sort of gift I could have brought to the newborn king.  Perhaps the greatest gift I can give my King is to be a blessing to others, through service, sacrifice, time, and prayer.

Yesterday, as I read Ann's blog post, I felt a tug on my heart.  Maybe I missed the whole meaning of Christmas in my frenzy to find the perfect gifts for people I love, but who already have more than enough.  Perhaps our tree should look like Ann's tree...empty of gifts while our hearts are full of the blessing of giving to others. 

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace" (1 Peter 4:10)

***

This post is part of Bigger Picture Blogs' series, 'Twas the Write Before Christmas, a prompt a day to encourage us to share our story and give our gifts as a small creative respite from the busy, crammed full of things to be done, holidays.  I am linking up today's post with Day 2's prompt. 

'Twas the Write Before Christmas: {Day 1}

 I've lived my entire life in the Midwest.  As the last fall leaf reached the ground and the air grew colder and heavy with snow, I braced myself for months and months of cold, dark winter.

In my childhood, I hated being outside for too long in the winter.  My asthmatic lungs gasped for breath, unsure how to rescue the oxygen from the frozen air.

I remember the first year our neighbor's granddaughter came over to play.  She was from Florida and only saw snow once a year on her trips to her grandma's house.  She begged us to play outside, much longer than I preferred.  She even built an igloo one year and sent me on a scavenger hunt to find her.  I remember wondering what the big deal was...after all, it was just snow.

But there is something magical and beautiful about snow.  That first snowfall seems to stop time, because we can't seem to keep our eyes from the beauty of a world covered in white, sparkling in the sunlight. 

I still have a love/hate relationship with snow.  My dad called it a four-letter-word.  Because, that first snowfall loses its charm after months and months covered in its dark coldness.  I sit in my warm, comfortable home dreaming of the day when the sun will come out again, melt away the snow, and welcome us back out of our cozy cocoons.

We all go through seasons in our own lives.  The winters of our lives are the hardest, darkest, loneliest ones.  It is in the winter that I lose my way, desperate for the sun to shine again.  And the moment that first flash of green peeks through the snow, I breathe a sigh of relief. 

It's that relief that knows I've lived, survived, arrived in spring.  For, as hard as the winter is, the spring always comes.

But there's still something about winter that never ceases to hold us captive.  Because the winter is when we grow and learn.  It is in the hardest seasons of my life that He refines me, renews me, and revives me.  Without the snow, I wouldn't know the beauty of a simple blade of grass.  And without the winter, I wouldn't know the blessing of spring. 

***

This post is part of Bigger Picture Blogs' series, 'Twas the Write Before Christmas, a prompt a day to encourage us to share our story and give our gifts as a small creative respite from the busy, crammed full of things to be done, holidays.  (The picture and event button are from Day One's post and the prompt was simply Snow.)