I've written about not being perfect and what it is to be broken, but sometimes, if I'm not careful, my story can become an idol.
Just writing those words sends a gut punch to my soul, because conviction is hard. It's much easier to just ignore the whispers and continue on my merry way.
Except the way is not really merry when I place anything or anyone on a pedestal and forget the One who wrote my story from the beginning.
I focus so much on brokenness and imperfections, but forget how He calls me to lay them all down at His feet and walk instead in His righteousness.
And in the forgetting, I let pride get in the way of loving on others and being His light.
My struggles become magnified when they are all I can see and I fail to see the ones walking alongside me with their own hurts and pains.
I grumble and I mutter and I am shocked at the selfish, condemning words that pour out of my sin filled heart. This isn't who I am...and yet it is.
Every day I have to make a choice - to speak hurt...or speak love. And the only way to choose the better is to keep pressing into Him, allowing His words to write over the sins that tempt and attack at my soul.
When I look beyond myself and stop to listen to the story hidden behind a plastered smile and "I'm fine" replies, I remember how every one of us is facing our own pain filled, tear stained battle.
I can't ignore the conviction for long, because I know how much I need Him...how much we all need Him. So I stop and listen, laying down my selfish pride at His feet to let Him sift and change and use me.
Then, instead of the criticism and judgement creeping into my heart, I begin to listen for the hidden words and wonder at the secrets behind weary eyes.
I have a story to tell, but so does she...and sometimes she just wants me to listen to her story to know she is loved and understood.
She needs someone to tell her she's not alone and that there is always One who knows every one of her tears and waits with open arms.
She longs for a friend who will hold her as she cries and cry with her.
She wants to know she matters and that her story isn't finished yet.
So, I listen, really listen, whispering Truth and speaking the love she needs and the love He freely gives.
I'm joining the Creative Soul community this month for Back to School, Back to Writing.
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I'm returning as a leader for the group Broken & Mended which is a safe place for women struggling with postpartum depression to find hope and encouragement and love to fight this often lonely and difficult battle. If you, or someone you know, are struggling with postpartum depression, sign up here or email me.
Or, if you have a different story to tell, find the group that is right for you, because there's a bench waiting for YOU.
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