When I began this journey of gluten free, dairy free living, I knew it would be hard. But I didn't expect to feel this weepy about the foods I can no longer enjoy.
Not that we eat out a lot, but now it's nearly impossible. I can't trust that even if something would be considered gluten free it's not cooked on the same surface as products with gluten or has some sort of hidden gluten in it.
Grocery shopping became a challenge too. Did you know that the individually frozen boneless skinless chicken breast has gluten in it? They glaze it with chicken broth and gluten is the thickening agent in chicken broth.
I watched this video yesterday and the doctor said that even a milligram of gluten can be toxic for someone with gluten sensitivity. One milligram - that's one eighth the size of your fingernail.
I have a feeling if you were to biopsy my stomach lining it wouldn't look pretty. Because gluten causes the villi to atrophy, or lay flat, preventing your body from getting the nutrients it needs. It can take a year to heal this, but the damage is reversible.
I started packing for a week away from home to visit my inlaws for Christmas. I have to pack an entire week's worth of food for myself. I feel kind of silly explaining it over and over, but I really do have to be careful. Even a little bit of gluten will cause intense stomach pains that can keep me in bed for days.
I almost started crying in the middle of the grocery store when my husband chastised me for wanting to buy a dozen gluten free organic candy canes for almost $4. I walked away angry until I finally spilled out the words I was feeling. "You don't get it. You can eat whatever you want...but I can't. All the Christmas cookies, pies, and candies I used to love...I can't eat them anymore. I can't even eat a candy cane."
He finally looked me in the eyes and said, "If it means that much to you, we can buy those candy canes for you." It was a little thing, but it meant the world to me.
On Thursday night, we enjoyed a date night thanks to free babysitting offered by the high school girls at our church. Instead of the usual dinner and a movie away from home, we enjoyed home cooked lobster, quinoa, and sauteed veggies with homemade gluten free, dairy free peppermint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert. Then we cuddled up on the couch and watched a Redbox movie.
I enjoy the comforts of home. I don't like being out of my comfort zone. Maybe that's why I feel so anxious every time we have to pack up and go somewhere. Having a date night at home was priceless.
I'm still getting the hang of this gluten free, dairy free lifestyle. Did you know that 7 out of 10 people have a gluten sensitivity and don't even know it? Untreated, it can lead to auto immune diseases, the leading cause of death in America.
I sometimes wonder if I do, in fact, have celiacs. The one blood test came back negative, but that was after almost a month of an almost completely gluten free diet. In order to test positive, the villi have to be completely atrophied. But what if the villi are partially atrophied or almost completely atrophied?
Did you know that foods like chocolate, coffee, quinoa, and oats can act like gluten to your body for someone who is super sensitive? I'm kind of wondering if giving up coffee altogether will cure the remaining stomach pains I've been having. Or could it be sugar that is cause the remaining pain? I am so confused.
I can't even remember the last time I had a piece of soft, fluffy bread...or a bowl of macaroni and cheese. All those comfort foods I used to enjoy...are suddenly toxic to my system. And the longer I am off of gluten, the more even a little bit of gluten can wreak havoc on my system.
My goal for the new year: learn to love my gut and take care of it better than I ever have. Did that sound as weird to you as it did to me? Maybe if we all loved our guts better than we do now, we'd all be happier and healthier than ever...
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What I've been reading lately:dear mom of the little boy with celiac disease
study on gluten sensitivity
IBS caused by gluten sensitivity
gluten sensitivity and IBS
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Linking up with Heather at The Extraordinary Ordinary for Just Write: The 14th.
Stephanie I have several food allergies and food sensitivities...so I completely understand how hard it is to eat out...and how hard it is to travel. The cross contamination is so hard to explain to people. I don't trust people in the restaurants...and have many close calls. I have had anaphalactic shock and have to carry an epi-pen.
ReplyDeleteI think what I hate the most is when people don't understand...and I hate having to explain it to others ALL the time.
Home is the safest place to be...our havens! But we do have to see family and travel sometimes. It is do-able...but not easy at all.
We have a cooler that plugs into our car and also inside the house that we take with us. And that makes it easier. Do you have one of those?
I will pray for you and I hope you will be able to enjoy your trip.
Love, Momma Linda
My daughter is gluten free, so I feel your pain! Schwans is, ironically, going to begin carrying some gluten free items that have gotten rave reviews. Hang in there, the price you pay is worth a healthy, happy life!
ReplyDeleteI know it has to be hard not to be able to eat the things you used to. And gluten free foods can be pricey!! I'm glad that over the last few years more foods have become available in gluten free.
ReplyDeleteI get this. I get you. We need a gluten-free, dairy-free in real life date asap. Can we shoot for sometime soon? I could drive up for a day and maybe a night if it's ok to bring kids ...
ReplyDeleteAlso, I really liked that video. John and I watched it last night. It was good information and made me realize how eating gluten is not just about having an upset gi tract ... it's way more. It's about health.
Steph, I just want you to know that I do somewhat know what you're going through in terms of grieving for food that you can no longer eat. Right after John's surgery, I totally went through a period of grieving for the foods that we could no longer enjoy together on a daily basis. I remember walking around the city with him, from restaurant to restaurant, realizing how many places we could no longer eat at. Of course, now we can splurge sometimes, but still, we are really careful to eat super-heart healthy 99% of the time. I can't tell you how many times we pass by a restaurant that looks sooo yummy, but we know we can't eat there. That was really hard for me for a while.
ReplyDeleteAnd people don't always understand. My coworkers often try to send leftover fatty desserts home with me, stuff like that - I can't take it home or we will both eat it!
Although it's not as extreme perhaps as your diet, I do understand the whole grieving thing - it's like grieving for a part of your life that you've lost. But please do try to remember the old adage about "when God closes a door, He opens a window." 'Tis true, my dear!! :)
Nowadays John and I get excited when we find heart-healthy products - of which there are more and more all the time - and I'm certain that the same thing is true of gluten-free foods. Have you ever been to Trader Joe's, by the way? I think there's one in Milwaukee...anyway, they do tend to have a lot of gluten-free products, I've noticed.
Good luck and God Bless...
I loved that last line part- loving ourselves and taking better care of ourselves. A true gift, yes?
ReplyDelete{Good luck! I think what you're doing is pure amazing!}