Be Healed

 one of my art therapy/visual prayer projects this week

Fear is my weakness...and weakness feels an awful lot like failure.  It's so easy for my mind to wander and wonder...and before I know it worry settles in like a heavy weight.

The moment I realize the queasiness in my soul stems from fear, I want to run and hide, for shame at the nakedness of my heart exposed.

But then, I see my pride, staring right back at me, pointing its ugly finger.  Even in my weakest moments, God sees me...and He still pursues me relentlessly.

He became for me righteousness, sanctification, and redemption...and every time I run away I push those nails further into His innocent hands.

I fall to my knees, pouring out my heart...and, somehow, instead of feeling the weight of shame and failure, I feel the weight of the chains breaking away as He bathes me in the freedom of His crimson blood shed for me.

And oh, how He loves me, enough to love the filth right out of my heart.

Our pastor preached on worry and my heart was pricked again.  Worry is borrowing trouble, but trusting in Him and laying it all at His feet is embracing grace and peace.

"We spill the ugly to allow Him to heal the wounds - 

replacing bits of us with pieces of Himself." 

- Kris Camealy

The dreams keep coming and worry threatens at every corner of memories I don't want to return to.  But He wants me to go back to those places, not to harm but to heal.

I'm afraid of the hurt and pain that comes with every hidden, forgotten memory, but He is faithful to fill every one of my empty spaces with His all consuming grace and hope and peace.

I take His hand, walking back into those memories, one by one, knowing that He is with me.  He goes before, beside, and behind, hemming me in on all sides.  He will not let me go. 

My heart beats and worry threatens, but I lift my eyes to His face and remember.  I don't have to linger here long...just long enough to give these broken pieces of me to His tender care and breathe in His healing, piece by piece.

"He loves us too much to leave us in our mess. 

He collects our broken shards 

and creates beauty from mere fragments, 

but the process does not come without pain." 

- Kris Camealy