Real Life Love Story #4

Karl and Kathy are my husband's parents.  I am so thankful to have them for in-laws because they welcomed me into their family with open arms.  They have also shown us another beautiful example of a lasting and committed marriage.  This was the first time I heard their love story and I was so blessed by it.

Pursuing Love

Kathy's family moved to Grant, Michigan when she was 12.  Her family came from a small church with less than ten in the youth meetings, so she was a little overwhelmed when their new church had almost 50 in the youth meetings.  There was a young man named Karl whose family attended the same church, but it wasn't until high school when he first caught her eye.  He and his friends loved Thursday's lunch special, sloppy joes, so they would wait around the corner until the principal wasn't looking and break into a full blown race to be first in line.  Kathy was not impressed.  In fact, she found it "very repulsive".  


After high school, Karl took a job in a factory for a year.  When the Vietnam War draft started, he decided to sign up for four years in the Army.  Kathy decided to pursue a teaching degree.  During leave from Korea, Karl's cousin, Jerry, said, "Why don't you check out one of 'those Breen girls'?"  At a college age Sunday School class party, Kathy saw him looking her way and thought "Oh brother, he is going to ask me out!".  She was right and they ended up going to the Sand Lake 4th, a carnival set up in the park every year.  Kathy was a little nervous about dating him because she had heard he had "Roman hands and Russian fingers".  He turned out to be a perfect gentleman and, as she says, "his hands were warm, big and strong when he helped me around the mud there".  


When his leave was over, Karl began writing to Kathy from the mountains of Germany.  She was busy with her Senior year of college and getting ready to do her student teaching before graduating in the spring.  Her sister, Rosalie told her, "Good grief!  What the problem?  This is a boy from our church serving his country across the world.  Of course he needs letters and a box of cookies!"  Kathy finally responded to his letters, but was surprised when he asked her to wear his class ring.  She told him no and that she didn't feel that way about him.  


During a difficult student teaching experience, a 6th grade classroom in an inner city school, he wrote to tell her he was coming home on leave before his next assignment.  She was "NOT a happy camper".  Nevertheless, Karl continued to pursue her, planning something for them to do almost every day during his five week leave, including visiting family, attending church services, and spending time with friends.  He even came to eat at her house one day so he "could see if she could cook".  They went on many walks in the woods too, which was a new experience for her "being a flat-land muck girl".  During one of their walks, Karl brought her a piece of his mother's fried venison to try, but she wasn't very impressed. 


During a welcome home gathering at his parents' home, Kathy found out his next assignment was going to Vietnam.  She was surprised, because, having served in Korea, a combat zone, he wouldn't have been asked to go to Vietnam.  But, Karl was bored in the mountains and was eager to get home to see Kathy, so he volunteered to go to Vietnam so he could come home sooner.  Kathy thought he was a "stinker", because he continued to pursue when she wasn't at all interested in a commitment.


It wasn't until she was away for spring break in Florida with her family that Kathy finally signed a letter "with love".  When she returned from Florida and before he left for Vietnam, they realized they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.  Kathy says she knew he was the one because she was at ease spending time with him, could be herself with him, and shared her faith with him.  Karl knew she was the one when he realized he was able to give up some things to be with her and began to think of her desires before his own.  They decided not to make any permanent plans yet, because he "didn't know what would happen in Nam".  


When Karl left for Vietnam, they continued to write letters and counted down the days until he could return home and finish up his army commitment.  Kathy hung a toilet paper roll with numbers on it and would tear off one each day.  She graduated from college and began her first year of teaching in a 2nd-3rd grade transition class, better than her student teaching experience, but still a challenge.  


When Karl finally came home, she was waiting for him at the airport along with his family.  That weekend, they went ring shopping, but had to wait three weeks for the ring order to come in.  When the ring finally came, they told everyone their plans.  They decided they didn't want to wait any longer, because they knew they wanted to spend their lives together, so they planned a wedding eight weeks later.  Kathy enjoyed the wedding planning and eagerly awaited their wedding day.  She sewed her own wedding dress, the flower girl's dress, and the ring bearer's jacket.  Her parents supplied whatever flowers she wanted from their own greenhouse. 


They continued to take long walks through the woods as they waited for their wedding day.  Karl would often carry her on his back for long distances.  "She was lighter then," he says, to which she responds, "You were a young buck and needed the physical exertion!"  


They went house shopping and were blessed to have plenty of savings, because Karl had wisely saved most of his money he made while in the service.  The only thing he bought, besides necessities, was a stereo set in Germany for himself and china and silverware for Kathy in the orient.  They found a furnished house, put money down on it, and signed the papers two days after their wedding.  The "sweet old retired couple" who sold them the house wanted thirty days to move out, so they packed up a truck and camper and set out for Canada to spend a relaxing, pleasant honeymoon.  


Karl and Kathy's love story continued to unfold as they raised five children, fostered over 100 children, adopted 6 children, and became grandparents.  Their advice to making a marriage last a lifetime is to "just keep on keeping on one day at a time".  They have realized that commitment to their marriage means "thinking of the other one's desires...it's not 50-50, tit-for-tat, keep an even score...but 100% male, 100% female...do your part even if the other doesn't do theirs...you're not responsible for that part.  Life can't be all mountain-top; think about it, you gotta have some valleys for there to be mountain tops, maybe even some flat places."  One piece of advice they remember from their pre-marriage counseling is to not go to bed mad at each other, keep nothing between them, and to communicate.